Laugh out loud
The Outhouse One of my bygone recollections, As I recall the days of yore Is the little house, behind the house, With the crescent over the door. 'Twas a place to sit and ponder With your head bowed down low; Knowing that you wouldn't be there, If you didn't have to go. Ours was a three-holer, With... Sign in to see full entry.
English 101 No wonder the English language is so hard to learn.... Some examples: We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good... Sign in to see full entry.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean "I have been promoted three more times than you". 62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz. 63. Command decisions do... Sign in to see full entry.
If Men Had Babies.... * Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay. * There would be a cure for stretch marks. * Natural childbirth would become obsolete. * Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem. * All methods of birth control would be 100% effective. * Children... Sign in to see full entry.
-Be red -But don't be orange -Paint stripes on a lake -Ski Kansas -Sleep in freefall -Kill a Joule -Test thin ice...with a pogo stick -Apply for a unicorn hunting license -Do a good job -Crawl -Invite the Mansons over for dinner -Paint your windows -Watch a watch until it stops -Flash your goldfish... Sign in to see full entry.
Men Are Like... Men are like... coffee. The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night. Men are like... computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory. Men are like... laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like... coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them... Sign in to see full entry.
Next time you think you're having a bad day read this: A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded. In 1992,... Sign in to see full entry.
Words Women Use and Their Meanings WORDS WOMEN USE FINE this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the... Sign in to see full entry.
The Female Rules 1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES. 5. The Female is never wrong. 6. If it appears... Sign in to see full entry.
-See how long you can sleep -Spit shine your Nikes -Paint your teeth -Wear a salad -Speak with a forked tongue -Get your dog braces -Shave a shrub -Have a proton fight -Watch a car rust -Quiver -Rotate your carpet -Learn to type...with your toes -Set up your Christmas tree in April -Buy the Brooklyn... Sign in to see full entry.