Laugh out loud
NEW HOSPITAL POLICY The allergists voted to scratch it. The dermatologists preferred no rash moves. The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it. The microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein. The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve. The obstetricians stated they... Sign in to see full entry.
The three fastest means of communication: Telephone Television Tell-a-woman Sign in to see full entry.
Elderly Problems Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily function's. One seventy year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there... Sign in to see full entry.
The Cookie An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and... Sign in to see full entry.
A Song For A Man (to the tune of Bob Dylan) How many roads must a man drive down Before he admits he is lost Why when a man becomes married is he unable to find his own socks. How many times will it take 'til he knows he has seen the three stooges enough The answer my friend, I cannot comprehend The... Sign in to see full entry.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink and says, "That'll be five dollars," to which the man replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer,... Sign in to see full entry.
THE BEER PRAYER Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as it is in the pub. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from... Sign in to see full entry.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon. 102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". 103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did. 104. Vodka, green... Sign in to see full entry.
Old Money A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel." "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at... Sign in to see full entry.
How To Attend A Meeting To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers. "Hi," you should say. "I'm a new employee. What is the name of my job?" If they answer "long-range planner" or... Sign in to see full entry.