Laugh out loud
1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working. 2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia". 3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic. 4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair. 5. Not allowed to get... Sign in to see full entry.
A man was arrested for stealing a car. When he was taken to court for his arraignment the judge asked, how do you plead? Instead of saying guilty or not guilty the man said: "Before we go any further, judge, let me explain why I stole the car." The judge ruled in record time. A pair of Michigan... Sign in to see full entry.
The Top Redneck Song Titles 1. If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You 2. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 3. If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure 4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 5. (Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To... Sign in to see full entry.
Miami Beach, Florida: Our Nice Try Award this week goes to the Miami Beach attorney who entered a 'not guilty' plea for his client based on astrological forces. The lawyer maintained that the position of the stars at the time of his client's birth caused him to break into a couple's home, tie them... Sign in to see full entry.
Providence, Rhode Island: David Posman, 33, was arrested in Providence, Rhode Island, after knocking out an armored car driver and stealing four bags of money. Each bag contained $800 dollars. However, the bags weighed thirty pounds each since they all contained pennies. The hefty bags slowed the... Sign in to see full entry.
1. "I'm down here." 2. Just because I've got bells on my shoes, doesn't mean I'm a sissy. 3. I was once a lawn ornament for 'NSync. Want to meet them? 4. I can get you off Santa's naughty list. 5. I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys. 6. I'm a magical being. Can I try to... Sign in to see full entry.
This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it (Girls -- Have a sense of humor!) One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I... Sign in to see full entry.
ATM PIN NUMBER REVERSAL FOR ASSISTANCE I did not know ATM's were set up this way, good to know! If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse. For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would &n bsp;... Sign in to see full entry.
Bobby-joe was riding in Jeds truck Jed pulled over, got out and pointed down yawnder and said, "Thats where I first had sex." Bobby-Joe said,"How was it." Jed said,"It was great til' I looked up and saw her mom was watching." Bobby-Joe yelled,"Oh shit, what did she say??" Jed repiled "Baaa!!!! Sign in to see full entry.
A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y?" The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e?" Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks... Sign in to see full entry.