Sunday, June 11, 2006Defining Parental HappinessQ: How do you define true parental happiness? A: Dropping your children off on the grandparents for their summer vacation so you can have one, too. AA (Alternate Answer): Dropping them off at their Freshman dorms to begin a new life so you can get on with yours. Sign in to see full entry.Tuesday, June 6, 20066-6-6 : What A Day It Will BeThe much anticipated triple six day of the millenium is upon us. The Day of the Beast is finally here. And with it comes the opening of the remake of the classic movie, The Omen. Damien, the son of Satan, and the harbinger of Armageddon, is cinematically reborn today. The Satan-worshipping heavy... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, May 31, 2006Australian Tumble Dries BabyThe boyfriend of a woman who left him in charge of her 14-month-old baby when she went to the gym will soon appear in court on several counts of child endangerment. It seems that while the girlfriend was out, the boyfriend heard the cries of the little girl from the bedroom She had wet herself. In... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, May 20, 2006How Barry Bonds Tied Babe Ruth's Home Run RecordBarry Bonds hit home run number 714, tying The Babe on the all-time home run list. He still has a ways to go to catch Hank Aaron (755). At a press conference after the game, Bonds cited as inspiration a phone call he received from buddy Terrell Owens. It seems that T.O. told him that to reclaim his... Sign in to see full entry.Sunday, May 14, 2006If You Believe That president Bush Is A Good president, You Might BeA fucking moron. That's right. IQ level lower than the nearest baby's shoe size. How many more times do you people need for him to stammer, misquote, and destroy an English sentence? How many more times do you need him to explain something in his redneck vernacular and still make absolutely no sense... Sign in to see full entry.Friday, May 12, 2006Just A Little Boom ThingSounds like the latest rap song, don't it? Actually, it is the words of Otis Cecil Wilkins of Durham, North Carolina, who pleaded guilty to trying to firebomb his girlfriend. He, of course, denies that allegation, swearing he was aiming for a beaver dam that was nearby. The upshot of the entire... Sign in to see full entry.Tuesday, May 9, 2006Two Words That Should Not Appear On A Marquee Or Menu TogetherI took my fiance out to eat this evening, currently basking in the brief afterglow of my tax return before the gas pump gouges me out of more than it should, and, as we were traveling down a congested freeway in search of the restaurant we had previously chosen, I happen to read a marquee, a... Sign in to see full entry.Monday, May 8, 2006Why Did The UN Official In Darfur Cross The Road?the Undersecretary of the United Nations was forced to flee for his life from Darfur. It seems that the thousands of starving refugees had been confused by the recent statements that UN officials taste like chicken. It wasn't until after the Undersecretary had left that it was explained that UN... Sign in to see full entry.Sunday, May 7, 2006Dying To End The Television SeasonI never, in all the thirty-odd years that I've been on this planet viewing the one-eyed monster from across the room, seen so many damned people dying, or in jeopardy of dying, or being placed in a life-threatening storyline (mostly by being shot), than I have in the past two seasons of television.... Sign in to see full entry.Thursday, May 4, 2006Did He Say "Corpse"?Watching the Faux (Fox) News show that Neil Cavuto hosts, he introduced a Marine as part of the United States Marine "Corpse" (spelling phonetic, not actual, because, you see, that's exactly how he said it). Jesus, Neil, a Freudian slip? Worried about all the dead in Iraq? Worried about the... Sign in to see full entry. |