Saturday, October 31, 2009
News Flash! I am planning on taking up a NEW profession!
Finally, I have found the profession that I was always meant to have! It is just perfect, for a man with my talents and drive! Not Raising Hogs Dear Sir: I read about a farmer named Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, receiving a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business, next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs, not to raise? I...
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Friday, October 30, 2009
"Sticks and stones will break Bird's bones, but HOLY SHIT! Break her BONES?
Ladies and gentlemen! Another piece of "Native American Indian Folklore," according to Marilyn. A "Fractured Fairytale," if you ask ME! This is a groaner, but if you have read this far, your click is already commited, so you might as well read this, and get your whole penny's worth. Guy The Indian who was born With only One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years...
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Thursday, October 29, 2009
The future and foolish fantasy, Neither one, is EVER gonna ACTUALLY happen!
While experiencing a nightmare, Darth.....I meant to say, Dick Cheney, will dream that he sees these vid/news headlines, from the distant future, the year 2039! Like he will outlive most presently living fruitflies! He is scheduled to have another, final heart attack, at any time now. Will anyone miss him, i wonder? Guy This is what ought to kill him, hopefully, once and for all! VideoNews story opening lines, FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars, now killing millions in the...
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Our MOST important task is to properly educate our precious children!
This is a rewrite of something that I posted about two years ago. If it looks familiar, my congratulations! You are a longtime reader, and have by now, accumulated much wisdom from my sage writings, Grasshoppers. Marilyn tells me that I have a lot of un educating to do with these kids, especially little D.J. It seems that somebody from his school telephoned Sagehaven, inquiring into the possibility that his hearing be tested because D.J. may have a speech impediment. It seems that he was...
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
What could be my FINAL lucid thoughts! Such a WASTE! A tragic loss, World!
Oh DAMN, now I must admit to the truth, that my worst fear, is obviously coming true! I think that I am beginning to lose my alleged mind. In the last four days, I somehow posted essentially, the same joke TWICE! No, no, it's TRUE! I checked! I'm SO ashamed. I'm fairly sure that this has never happened to me in the past, but now that I think about it, if my marbles have begun falling out, for all I know, it has been happening for a long time, and I just didn't notice it, because I was busy...
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Revisionist history, according to Marilyn. NEVER shoulda taught her to type
Eve's side of the story..... This makes perfect sense, according to Marilyn. Eve's side of the story. After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. " So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem." "It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my...
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Two jokes, I can't get myself into any trouble, just telling jokes, can I?
Two short jokes, a little bit naughty, but then again, we're all grownups, here, right? For his birthday, little Patrick asked his parents to give him a 10-speed bicycle. His father told him, "Son, we'd buy you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford to buy you a 10-speed bicycle, right now" The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a packed suitcase, so he asked, "Son, where do you think you...
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Monday, October 26, 2009
Toy conglomerates diving into regional markets, Barbie Doll, for YOUR city!
If you aren't familiar with Michigan cities, just substitute the names of cities in your own state, to fit regional Barbie, according to the most fitting description. Once again, I can't show you the pictures. Don't know how to cut & paste them. Too bad. They are cute, like this is. Guy Mattel recently announced the release of the improved limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Michigan market: 'Bloomfield Hills Barbie' This princess Barbie is sold only at Great Lakes Crossing Mall. She comes with...
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
We all have our bad days. I guess that now, it's MY turn, in the barrel!
My fellow bloggers and readers, A blogger friend pointed out to me, that what I took to be just a several word long news crawl, one that gave me a frivolous idea for a new blog entry, was a real news story, about real and honorable people, who are at the end of their rope, and suffering greatly because of conditions that are beyond their control. The debts that are being paid off, aren't gambling debts or car payments, they are a matter of bare survival, for millions of extremely impoverished...
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Saturday, October 24, 2009
I have heard of "renting" women before, but actually SELLING them? WOW!
On CNN, I just saw one of those " crawls " across the bottom of the screen, that said, " Desperate Indian farmers resort to selling their wives, to pay off debts." I guess that the only word to describe my mental state upon learning this, is to say that I was astonished, no, make that, ASTOUNDED! At first, I wondered, "How many wives can an average Indian farmer have, and why would he want any?" In my experience, "No wives, equals no debt!" Then, I realized that maybe East-Indian wives, (as...
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