Monday, November 23, 2009
I'm not a bad guy! What did I do, to deserve this?!
Want to know what I hate? Being around complainers! There are some people that will compulsively, constantly, complain about ANYTHING and/or ANYONE! It’s a virulent form of verbal diarrhea, but it can’t kill you, like the kind that heads south, can. Examples: “Bleeping CAT! I’m going to KILL that little bleeper, while you are at work today! It’s FREEZIN’ COLD in here! YES, it IS! He is too STUPID to be allowed to live any longer! Who is that Bleeper? BLEEP, BLEEPING, BLEEPERS! I don’t get ANY...
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Saturday, November 21, 2009
Maybe NOW Obama can just concentrate on our economic problems! FINALLY!
Peace at Last My lifelong pal Dave Bradbury just sent me this. I think that he has stumbled onto an inexpensive answer to getting the terrorists to leave us alone, because those Americans are all just plain CRAZY! No way, can they beat us, when the rednecks get their panties in a wad! Maybe the terrorists should have declared a Jihad against North Korea, and Iran, instead of US! (Ooops, the Iranians & N. Koreans ARE many of the terrorists.) My personal contribution to the solution of the...
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
Northsage's Sage Advice and Non-Human Animal Sitting-Service, Inc.
A bit of sibling banter about parts of a shared email, sent to my buddy Dave, said banter, between my bratty kid sister, and myself. I fear that like prophets, sages also are not honored in their own land. Or was it their own lifetime? Doesn't matter, BOTH choices suck 40 PSI! Being a sage nowadays, and about $4.00 will buy you a cup of fancy Starbucks coffee, I hear. Like Rodney Dangerfield always said, "I don't get no more respect than a SAGE!" Terry (the bratty kid sister) begins her reply to...
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Lest we forget, 1 1/2 years ago, election year rhetoric, from the experts
Why the hell DID the chicken cross the road? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day...
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Monday, November 9, 2009
BOY! Golfers must be cold-hearted sons of bitches! I'm seeing a trend here!
The golfer's wife A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole, and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was an emergency room doctor, notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible traffic accident and she was critically injured and would be going into the intensive care unit, after being operated upon.. The man told the doctor to tell his...
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Sunday, November 8, 2009
We are living our lives, BASS ACKWARDS! My way is better!
In that commercial, where the kid keeps discarding " old " unused phone minutes, the frugal mother tells him that they are just as good as NEW minutes, because they never expire. If that is true, why can we clearly see that the clock is ticking, on those minute discs? That makes no sense to me. I guess the clock is always ticking, and EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY has an expiration date, regardless of what we are told. I guess, if one lives their life well and wisely, once can be enough! With that in...
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Thursday, November 5, 2009
When thinking fast, can save your bacon. Canadian bacon, at that!
In North America's natural refrigeration storage center, Canada ( where they misspell it " centre," probably ) the frigid temperatures rarely rise above absolute zero +/- 10 degrees, ( but for a day or two, during mid-August 1984, ) in order to avoid madness and generate precious body heat, during their harsh winter, Canadians play a violent and primitive game, a game they call "hockey." I'm not making this up, folks. Hockey players beat each other up with long, hooked sticks, and try to break...
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Two jokes, maybe they're old, but maybe they are NEW! I don't know.
This first joke, is a lawyer/groaner joke, but maybe you'll like the second one better, if this one isn't to your taste. Guy A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home, in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him. One summer he invited a lawyer from Czechoslovakia to visit for a week. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spent a great deal of...
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Monday, November 2, 2009
Behind all old phrases & legends, there's a HISTORY, that is lost to time!
A Kansas farm wife called her local telephone company, to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned, right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see if this was a case of a psychic dog, or a senile old lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned, and...
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Sunday, November 1, 2009
Colonoscopy anyone? The line forms over there, on the right! No shoving!
These made me laugh, and I that hope you like them, too. The doctors must have been amused too, or we would never have learned what was said, in the privacy of the examination room. My father once described being cathetorized this way; "Well, the doctor opens up a sterile wrapped package, with a garden hose in it,......." I imagine that a colonoscope is similar in size to a garden hose, and at least as comfortable as a catheter, according to my Dad, at any rate. Guy Colonoscopies are no joke,...
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