Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The cat didn't have my tongue, it was the GRANDBRATS! GRRRRR!
I haven't been able to leave comments, or give a title to " copied and pasted " postings, etc. for most of two days now, and it has been driving me absolutely CRAZY! I foolishly let the kids play games on my computer, figuring how much harm can they do, playing games? I must be a hopeless self-delusionary, because I convieniently forgot having seen how Ivy takes out her rage on the Playstation joystick/control unit when the impudent machine has the audacity to torment her. Add to that, the...
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Monday, October 5, 2009
> Guy, I removed the two photos that were in the original so they > couldn't clog up our system. One was a current photo of Harry Reid > and the other an old photo of a gallows in use. > > Subject: The art of "spin" - By a true professional > The only known photograph of Remus Reid shows him standing on the > gallows in Montana territory. > > Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern > California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She > discovered that...
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Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sage advice, and revelations. Good thing you know a sage, huh?
Rules to Abide by... Advise your children to get you only high quality gifts. Point out to them that they don't want to inherit junk. Beware of a chiropractor who wears a neck brace. Beware of bargains in life preservers, parachutes and heart transplants. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; if you haven't gotten home by then you're in trouble. Despite what you read in the papers, people don't usually die in alphabetical order. Be suspicious if you discover that your auto mechanic...
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Saturday, October 3, 2009
Idiots are walking among us, just like NORMAL people! Make SIGNS for 'em!
I have been trying the influenza diet, ( the chauvinist pig version ) this week, everybody. Probably caught the virus opening an email from a stranger, gotta stop doing that. However, email from friends, supplys us invalids with posting gems like this one, when we're not really feeling well enough, to pull one out of our groggy, Nyquil clouded heads. Enjoy. Guy Subject: Idiot list for 2008 Number One Idiot of 2008 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison...
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Thursday, October 1, 2009
Yet another VERY old joke, those are always the BEST ones!
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?' The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is indeed still one of our beliefs.' The priest then asked, 'Have you ever eaten pork?' To which the rabbi replied, 'Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a ham sandwich.' The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the...
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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Some people just DON'T have good sense! Guess, "hope DOES spring eternal!"
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?' He replies, 'I lived here years ago.' 'So, where were you all these years?' 'In prison,'he says. 'Why did they put you in prison?' He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.' 'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!' I wasn't nearly as attractive as I now am,...
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Monday, September 28, 2009
In the Land of the Old, the young man is KING! He can remove screw-on caps!
Working at our local Senior Center, I pick up a lot of info on what to expect will happen to people, when they become really old. If this is where we are all headed, I AIN'T GOING! Guy Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up...
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Sunday, September 27, 2009
Hitler BEWARE, contrary to popular folklore, cats do NOT have nine lives!
Before writing this, I waited for a couple weeks, because I halfway expected to be informing the world of Hitler’s second and final death. During the EARLY morning hours of the day this happened, (about 3:00AM ) I awoke and headed for the bathroom, as I do every morning. Just outside our bedroom, I nearly stepped on the pieces of one of the hamster cages, scattered across half the living room floor. Hitler had obviously just signed her own DEATH WARRANT! I foolishly blurted out what had...
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Believe it or not, this is about the politics of dog poop!
Another forwarded gem, one that I wish I wrote, but didn't. Guy Catherine - a little girl in our neighborhood - told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us. I asked Catherine - 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' Catherine replied, 'I would give houses to all the homeless people.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal you have there Catherine.' I told her (while both parents beamed), 'But, you don't have...
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Monday, September 21, 2009
Summer's Over Tommorrow! Some facts, to ease the shock of it being FALL!
Things to think about ( for those who are at that stage in life to have the time to ponder these sorts of things): VERY INTERESTING STUFF In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only..Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF...
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