"Brief Encounters"

During this period-the short break in therapy-brought about a regressive state in me and this poem-(and the following one)- are, I feel- about Isolation and Abandonment! POWERFULL IN MY WEEKNESS February 18th.1999 For a short while-there was peace as I lay there- gathering my first winds of life.... Sign in to see full entry.

Everything In Me-is Ready To Be Myself February 10th.1999 Today's session was about TIME and very thought provoking. Time's past-present and future.How the past is here in our work in the present and how it will be around in the future but, because we are working with it, it will no longer have a... Sign in to see full entry.

On Sunday July 19th.1998, my eldest Son left home to establish a new life for himself-in Sweden. This caused me a great deal of emotional trauma, heartache and pain, which I worked with in the sessions with Bruce. The week end just passed.My Son returned home for a flying visit; The water's were... Sign in to see full entry.

As I look back at my diaries I see that we have come to talk about anything and everything! I told Bruce I felt 'good' and that I hope the feeling lasts. CREDIT TO YOU January 22nd. 1999 I was lifeless-dying-maybe even dead--- when you Special Messenger-stepped in and turned my head. "What does it... Sign in to see full entry.

We have been exploring the differences between males and females. I have never felt that I belonged to either gender however, I felt comfortable with being recognised as a 'tomboy'. The masculin side of me has always been prevalent in order for my survival instincts to be met. However, I now visit... Sign in to see full entry.

FAREWELL TO THE PAST JANUARY 11th 1999 The big black plastic sack! The dark black hole! I'm emptying cupboards- drawers and corners-of my Spirit-mind and Soul! Every piece of paper I have torn to shreds-no one will ever read my thoughts or see how my heart bled! Nor see how much I stored away or... Sign in to see full entry.

The first week back into therapy, following the Christmas break, raised a great deal of stuff to be worked on! My feelings of abandonment over Christmas for example and my regression and manic behaviour throughout the break. Not only was my mind feeling cluttered up but so was my home and-as always... Sign in to see full entry.

I never saw my life as anything other than 'normal'. I had never realised that my behaviour was so dysfunctional. IN MY IGNORANCE January 9th.1999 In my ignorance I struggled through with much distorted knowledge. I tried to learn from reading books-training groups and college. I manipulated life it... Sign in to see full entry.

Sometimes Bruce is just Bruce, my psychotherapist. However there are occasions when I feel towards him as my long-lost Brother or even a Son. Sometimes he's like a kind uncle-in my mind-others times like a really close friend. At this particular moment in time he is like my "Daddy"--but that's... Sign in to see full entry.

Following my father's death it was as if a barrier had been lifted and fractional pieces of repressed memories came flooding through! The last couple of weeks have been sheer hell! I have grieved for my father and other losses. I have been angry at the vicar and a dear friend is seriously ill in... Sign in to see full entry.