"Brief Encounters"

It feels important for me to explain once again to my friend Fred -the changes that have and are still occurring within myself and how it alters my view on everyone and everything around me. LETTER TO MY FRIEND FRED March 1st.2002 In the past I have been very 'childlike' in my behaviour. Not only... Sign in to see full entry.

During today's session we reflected back once again on the traumatic and reactive life I have led up until now. For the first time I truly recognise this and acknowledge this understanding by writing to my 'inner child'. TO MY INNER CHILD February 21st.2002 Shish---listen little one-I'm talking now-... Sign in to see full entry.

I feel that it is time to make it clear to my friend Fred how I am feeling about the relationship between us-since the inevitable changes that have and are continuing to occur- within my world. Hence this next poem. TO MY FRIEND FRED February 14th.2002 There are many ways that I have 'grown'-many... Sign in to see full entry.

During this particular session I re-discovered my feelings of excrutiating sadness for the loss of my Baby!(d.o.b.27-05-1974). See poem 'Little Blue Baby'-(Blogit 6-5-08).Now I continue the grieving process. I also experienced a whole new feeling-towards Bruce-for which I simply do not have the... Sign in to see full entry.

The Christmas break brought about many deep thoughts and feelings and- this poem. I AM REVIEWING THE SITUATION Christmas 2001 The roots so deep and tightly clustered-smothered by the wraths of time-- tainted by a foul and putrid odour-I thought belonged to others-- but they were MINE! From where... Sign in to see full entry.

When this occurred to my youngest Son in 1982 I had no conscious knowledge or awareness of abuse or perverted behaviour by my biological father-as extraordinary as that may seem and that-I feel is why I did not believe in what I heard-in the scream. A WILD PIERCING SCREAM December 5th.2001 A... Sign in to see full entry.

RANDOM DIARY ENTRIES Mid August-December 2001 In the past I believed that everyone else thought what I thought.I now recognise that belief as to be my past omnipotence.However, even now occasionally when I regress, that omnipotence is still around. At present, everything is hard work because I am... Sign in to see full entry.

I miss-understood part of a conversation with Bruce and actually believed he was 'testing me out' as opposed to 'showing me care'. Once I realised it was 'care' then I began to panic a bit. I became confused which this poem clearly shows.I have never before-trusted 'care'. CARE August 15th.2001... Sign in to see full entry.

This is a last bitter attempt to help me survive the ending of my therapy by-denying it-as such! PARTING January 25th. 2001 This is not 'parting'--I'm just 'stepping aside'-- to give 'others'--the privilege of being with you. I am not 'leaving you'--simply 'taking out some time'-- to... Sign in to see full entry.

We have discussed the possibility of preparing ourselves in readiness for ending my therapy at Easter-which as Bruce explained is a time for new beginnings. I said I would prefer March 1st. as this date for me,heralds Spring,he agreed. (However-I am still with him now-so I'm not sure what happened?)... Sign in to see full entry.