"Brief Encounters"

Occasionally, when we seem to have found a great break through and my feelings for Bruce are so deep,I need to explore exactly what my feelings are. I do not believe that I have got anywhere near to understanding what "love" is, or even if there is such a feeling? My feelings for Bruce are stronger... Sign in to see full entry.

We are heading into the Christmas break which to me-feels like an ending. Considering all of the work we have gone through during the past year-these next two poems are by way of a "thank you"-to Bruce. BRUCE December 17th.2000 I wish you the sweetest dreams-each time you lay your head upon the... Sign in to see full entry.

Looking back at the way I lived my life I made this short 'summary' of the way it was and the possible consequences of my behaiour on the lives of my children. LONELINESS December 4th.2000 The waters were stirred and I felt the pain of loneliness-- pleading voices-faces blurred-stifled screams. I... Sign in to see full entry.

I am just looking back to January 1998, acknowledging all the work we have done! I know that I could never have done this with any other therapist or in any other theoretical style. THREE TIMES THE SEASON November 17th. 2000 Swiftly-oh so swiftly-three times the Seasons came and went-- trees... Sign in to see full entry.

When the child part of me is around, during the times when I am in a regressed state, I acknowledge that I behave in an omnipotent manner. When the adult me is more prominent then I can be very manipulative,unconsciously. I flew to Sweden to be with my eldest Son for four days. It felt almost... Sign in to see full entry.

RANDOM DIARY ENTRIES September 20th.-November 17th.2000 Recently I was made aware of a whole list of learned behavioural issues about myself that I would rather not 'own'. Or at least my behaviour implies that I am: Manipulative: Omnipotent: also a control freak who is paranoid and displays 'temper... Sign in to see full entry.

During a training session for volunteers working within ICAIR-issues of 'choice' and 'selection' linked into the child in me and this next poem transpired.(I'm referring to myself of course.) SHE HAD NO SAY September 4th.2000 She was not 'chosen' or 'selected'-who would want her? A 'scabby'... Sign in to see full entry.

VISIONS August 29th.2000 A shadow cast over your eyes and your face. I felt the pain in my heart-you shared. From my eyes one silent tear left it's place-- yours reflected how deeply you cared! How long have I waited to share these words:-'but it's simply not enough'! How I've missed what I lost-the... Sign in to see full entry.

We have been working with my losses-back over the years-beginning with my 'cell mother'. I will no longer be referring to her by that name for my mind has reached a state of understanding.I will refer to her as my biological mother. In the past-my anger has always been at the focus of everything I... Sign in to see full entry.

RANDOM DIARY ENTRIES August 28th.2000 In the past I have felt 'in tune' with the sea.When the waters have been peaceful and calm so have I been-deep inside.But the mood of the seas is manic.Changing into wild rage and fury.Tempestuous high waves according to the atmospheric conditions.Since being in... Sign in to see full entry.