Evolutionary Theory of Farts

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Farting as part of

Farting began as soon as anal canals were formed, for all practical purposes. Farts before then were pseudo farts created by the release of waste gases from various orifices, often mere “bubbles” within a cell that had worked their way to the surface. It was kind of equivalent to a person who could... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Equilibrium of Gases . . .

It is an almost proven fact that early farting by creatures that pre-date mankind by hundreds of millions of years were instrumental in balancing out the atmospheric gases. Such an equalization of gases was what set the stage for the evolution of higher odor creatures, leading eventually to us, who... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Carbon Dating Farts

A vital tool in an archaeologists kit is Carbon Dating to establish age. That is difficult and virtually impossible with farts, but carbon dating is still useful. The trick is to date those rocks surrounding the anal openings of animals were fossilized farets are found (See Earlier Entry in thie... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Blowfish mis-evolution . . . .

A little-know fact, except to fartologists, is that the blowfish was a mistake. A blowfish has an extra internal opening that allows fart gases to excape inside the body rather than out through the anus. This came about in the earlier farteozoaic period, oddly enough, at the far, far distant... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

A bit more chemistry and science:

Farts are made up, generally, of five gases, all, surprisingly, odorless: Nitrogen, Hydrogen, Carbon Dioxide, Methane, and Oxygen. Note that it is the Hydrogen and the Methane that make farts flammable. And what causes the odors, if the five main gases are odorless? The characteristic odor of farts... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Fart Fossils . . .

You won't read this in an archaeology text: At virtually all digs for prehistoric animals, when animal fossils are found, also found are fart fossils near the anal end of the fossilized animal. Just what is a fossil fart? It is captured bubbles of farts that escaped almost immediately after the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Evidence of high-energy farts . . .

One indicator that farts were once higher powered than now is in the monkey tails. Notice how the monkey tails often stand straight up, allowing anal gases to pass without hitting the tail or any other part of the monkey's body. This was not the case with chimps, which, as you will note, have no... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 11, 2005

We can be happy about not evolving from one sea creature

whose anus was next to its mouth. Can you imagine? Of course, I would expect that, had that been the evolutionary case, we would have developed much larger and much more active tear glands and and much larger tear ducts. One must wonder how that would have affected our development of speech, as... Sign in to see full entry.

More Fart Facts . . . .

To avoid copy from another source, not kosher in academic or writing circles, I am providing a link to a site which gives a great deal of information regarding the composition of farts, as well as other info of a factual nature. This is part of the foundation I am putting down to help us explore the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Mephitic Results From the Start . . .

One of the earlier bones of contention in the study of the evolution of farts is whether or not farts have been mephitic from the very beginning. Data now shows that farts always have been so, and, in fact, must be strongly mephitic to accomplish their "duties," so to speak. It is a foundational... Sign in to see full entry.

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