Evolutionary Theory of Farts

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Farts into the Future!

As a result of a NASA propulsion engineer accidentally coming across one of my scholarly Fart Papers in a Scientific Journal, NASA is running initial studies of using farts to propel future manned missions to the planets. The farts used would be a combo of stored farts from NASA personnel,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A New Cosmologic Exploration

Please send money for this new scientific exploration into Fartology will require billions if not hundreds of billions if not trillions if not hundreds of trillions of dollars and many years of research, experimentation and exploration. My new theory is that the "Big Bang" was really nothing more... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

An Early indication of Fart Deadliness

A collection of skeletal remains dating from pre-Biblical times were found in the middle eastern deserts around Bhagdad. Thousands of skeletal remains were found with what looked like ceramic corks in the areas where, if the skeletons still had flesh, would be the soldiers' anal openings. Were these... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 9, 2006

Farts: Possibly More FactsThan You Want to Know!

I found an excellent web site, not mine, that nicely complements my blog, "Evolution of Farts." Go to it and pick up some interesting trivia for your next cocktail party: Facts on Farts Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 6, 2006

More recent "literary fossils" of farts

We have the literary allusion to "something rotten in Denmark." A literary quote is a word fossil, and I think in this case it is an allusion to a fart in Demark. It was, in all proability a royal fart, since royalty had acess to more varieties of foods and more foods that are likely to cause gas of... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Summer Farts

Summer Farts originated in Summeria by the Summerians. They are of a particularly odious type since the summer mugginess and heat add to the stenchiness factor. Summer Fart Fossils are rare because the strength of the gasses involved coupled with the heat and humidity tend to cause any rock... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Sorry for the lapse of reporting

I had come across a vast suppository of fart relics in the Southeastern region of Virginia, and was knocked into stasis, unable to write, think, eat, drink or anything else save survive for these many weeks. Fortunately, a kind soul found my safety line and pulled me from the underground... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 7, 2006

Dangerous Research

Sorry to be away for so long, but smelly research turned to almost deadly research as I dug up an ancient Peruvian fart, one over 12,000 years old. When it first encountered air in my vicinity, it knocked me flat, almost killing my fart-associate and waylaying me for several weeks. I could barely... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Fart Fossil Finding is Frightening . . . . .

My latest experience in searching for fart fossils finally finished me for a fortnight or two. I had discovered a 300 million year-old fart fossil from one of the earlier organisms on the planet, and it was part plant, part animal. I entered the chamber where I thought it might be and was overcome... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Farts Change

Fart fossils found in glaciers are vastly different from fart fossils found in tar pits. You can imagine, first, that e ice would have caused a loss of volume, compacting the fart fossil. Hence, ice-age fart fossils tend to be smaller than others. It is difficult to gauge the size of the original... Sign in to see full entry.

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