Oh no you didn't!

Saturday, June 17, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

A teacher said to her class, "Right, i'm going to hold something under the desk and i want you to guess it. This one is round and red." Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. "It's a plum miss," said a girl. "no it's an apple, but i like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

lil johnny on the loose and he sure knows a lot about sex!

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. Great Jane that... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 12, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 9, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

wedding bells

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

dear irs

Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Riddle me this

Ok Kabu....this is one that you will surely get.... question: what do you get when you cross a brook and a stream? response: wet feet! Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 5, 2017

for FSI and SAM

Baseball bat: a wooden or metal bar that can easily fly out of someone’s hands. Foul ball: a moment when you think, Holy @#$%, I got a hit! Babe Ruth: someone who people tell you was also overweight. Right field: a quiet place where you can sit for long stretches and play with dandelions. Until... Sign in to see full entry.

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