now we understand!
Answering machine message 166 (Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service. Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Now that's what I call an attention getter
Answering machine message 155 Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Wonderings XX
Mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks? People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. What are they doing? Cramming for finals? Old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, October 18, 2013
jBabies!
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped... Sign in to see full entry.
Farmer Brown
Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Are you ready to be released?
A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. "Tell me," said he, "if we release you, as we are... Sign in to see full entry.
Today's Stock Market Report:
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up... Sign in to see full entry.
Do you recognize any of these?
Here’s a little clarification of corporate lingo. COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you+- CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring... Sign in to see full entry.
gotcha says mom
A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, O.K."... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Mind games at the office
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them... Sign in to see full entry.