Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, October 28, 2013

elderly woman

Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to... Sign in to see full entry.

mom knows best

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Doctor's advice

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die." The men left the... Sign in to see full entry.

Dr Quack I presume

A woman was very despondent over not having sex in quite some time. She was becoming agitated and worried that she might not ever find a new mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided to go see a Chinese doctor named Dr. Chang (a sex therapist) see if he could help her. When... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

What happened to the love?

A frustrated wife decided her sex life needed spicing up. After work, she went shopping and picked up a pair of crotchless panties. She went home and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him as they... Sign in to see full entry.

Pet Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 25, 2013

did she really gesture that!

A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?" She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The... Sign in to see full entry.

bar dictionary

"You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be 4.50 a pop.) "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in... Sign in to see full entry.

say what!

A bear walks into a bar in Baraboo, Wisconsin and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says," We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Baraboo." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender again tells him," We... Sign in to see full entry.

Ahas!

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Atheism is a nonprophet organization. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad... Sign in to see full entry.