Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, December 7, 2014

21

A woman is dancing happily down the railroad tracks, singing to herself "...21...21...21..." After a little while, an Antartian walks up to her. She observes for a minute and then asks, "What are you doing?" The woman does not answer and keeps singing "...21...21...21..." So the Antartian jumps on... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

flight attendant

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's... Sign in to see full entry.

blonde taking a test

The blonde reported for her university final examination which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall and stared at the question paper for five minutes. In a fit of inspiration, she took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 5, 2014

frightened woman

A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after her young physician tells her she is pregnant. The director of the clinic stopped her and asked what the problem was. After she tells him what happened, the doctors had her sit down and relax in another room and he marched down the hallway... Sign in to see full entry.

what i never want to hear

Things Not to Hear During Surgery,Part I Darn, there go the lights again... Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop. Bo!... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

king of the jungle

One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious. He saunters over to a monkey swinging in a tree and roars, "Who's the king of this jungle?" The monkey scampers down from the tree, bows to the lion and stammered, "Wh..wh...why you are Mr. Lion." A few minutes later, the lion comes across a... Sign in to see full entry.

groaner

Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses "windows". Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

judge should never ask

The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.” “Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?” “Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.” Sign in to see full entry.

smart

Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

haircuts

Two barbershops were in red-hot competition. One put up a sign advertising haircuts for 7-dollars. His competitor put up one that read, “We repair 7-dollars hair cuts.” Sign in to see full entry.