Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, December 11, 2014

groaner

A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered. "What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it can’t be done!" Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:31 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

how many drunks does it take?

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:30 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I can go where I want

A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:33 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Accident

Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:31 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

pun

Q. Where did the Egyptian Mummy go to get her back fixed? A. The Cairo..practor! Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:10 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

what do you think...true or false?

MAN: 1) Pull up to machine 2) Wind window down 3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN 4) Retrieve cash 5) Drive away WOMAN: 1) Pull up to machine 2) Open door (too far away from machine) 3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card 4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair 5) Insert... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:09 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, December 8, 2014

groaner

A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible." The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him." Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:59 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

sharing a bed

By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded with a proprietor. "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, but he is an Air Force guy" admitted the manager, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:51 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, December 7, 2014

hanging

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were Antartians, and one was a university professor. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:50 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

hanging

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were Antartians, and one was a university professor. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:50 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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