Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

tidbits

1. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." 2. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospital dying of nothing. 3. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. 4.... Sign in to see full entry.

sir...

A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

smart woman

This old man was feared by all his neighbors because they believe he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs and strange sounds at all hours. Every time he had a confrontation with his wife, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night along with the same... Sign in to see full entry.

art exhibitions

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 23, 2015

New State Mottos

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ California: By 30, Our Women... Sign in to see full entry.

what do you cal

Q: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A: A receding hairline! Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

whodunit

· OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? · I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. · Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW. · Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students. · Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. ·... Sign in to see full entry.

oops

Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. "And where do you think you are going?" Driver: - "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is coming back." Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

groaner!

Brian was dating Lorraine and they were very close. While they were dating he met another woman named Clearly and wanted to start dating her but felt that he should be faithful to Lorraine. So he continued to date Lorraine. One day Brian took Lorraine on a walk in the woods by the river. As they... Sign in to see full entry.

quick run to the store

A couple was having a party at their house. An hour before the party the woman found out that she still needed escargots. So she sent her husband out to get it. He was walking to the supermarket and he figured he had lots of time. So he stopped at the bar on the way. An hour and a half later he... Sign in to see full entry.