Oh no you didn't!

Sunday, October 7, 2012


Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

How did this guy ever find his way home?

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me? "There was a long pause and finally Bubba... Sign in to see full entry.

Who is calling this time of night?

You Don't Need to Be a Weatherman... It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello?... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" -- and promptly slammed the phone down. His wife rolls... Sign in to see full entry.

Prayer I may need tomorrow at the stadium!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Another birthday joke...

A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32", the clerk... Sign in to see full entry.

Be Careful What You Ask For!

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Be careful how you word your birthday wish!

A birthday joke in honor of my birthday.....I want balloon emoticons.... A man said to his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday"? She replied, "I'd love to be Ten again". On the morning of her birthday, he gets her up bright and early and off they go to a theme Park. Every ride in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Outwitting the po leece!

One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it's a po-leece roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish... Sign in to see full entry.

Ahhhhhh Peace!

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?" "I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

True Blonde Story

The son didn't care to go to Venture to buy his mother some yarn she needed to finish her current project. He told his wife to go instead. The MIL showed her a ball of the yarn color she needed. Off she went to Venture to buy the yarn. She looked and looked all through the store but couldn't find... Sign in to see full entry.

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