hunting
A hunting party is hopelessly lost. “I thought you said you were the best guide in Maine!” one of the hunters angrily said to their confused leader. “I am, “replied the guide. “But I think we’re in Canada now.” Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
for naut
Q: Do you know why dogs don't dance? A: They have two left feet! Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, June 1, 2015
lunch
I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt. Sign in to see full entry.
what if
A man takes his son tiger hunting. They’re creeping through the weeds and the man says, “Son, this hunt marks your passage into manhood. Do you have any questions? And the boy says, “Yes, if the tiger kills you, how do I get home?” Sign in to see full entry.
one upmanship
Grandpa: boy, how many miles do you walk to school? Boy: about a half mile. Grandpa: when I was your age I walked eight miles to school every day. Boy, what are your grades like? Boy: they are mostly B's. Grandpa: when I was your age I got all A's. Boy, have you ever gotten into a fight? Boy: only... Sign in to see full entry.
want to be married
A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like." "Oh, that's easy," his pal replied. "All you have to do is find someone whos' just like your mother." "I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like." Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
court
Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.” The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked. “They’re people just like you – your equals.” “Forget it,” retorted the defendant. “I don’t want to... Sign in to see full entry.
tenants
A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. “Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight.” When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 29, 2015
How many
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don't know. They're still arguing about it. Sign in to see full entry.
lil johnny on the loose again
Teacher: “Why are you always late for school?” Lil Johnny: “Because you always ring the bell before I get here!" Sign in to see full entry.