Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

passing through customs

Flying home from France on a recent trip I noticed a rather haggard looking mom walking into the customs area with eight children-- all under age 10. Collecting their many suitcases, the nine of them entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 9, 2017

putting out the fire

There was a Texas oil tycoon who was watching his largest oil well going up in flames. He called in the best fire fighting equipment money could buy but there was no way they could get close enough to the intense flames to reach them with their water hose. Finally, out of desperation, he called the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

boarding

A lady wanted to board her horse. The first farmer she asked said he would keep it at $25 a day, plus he would keep the manure. She thought that was too high and went to another farmer. His price was $20 per day plus he would get to keep the manure. Then she went to a third farmer who asked just $5... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

3 sons

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 6, 2017

two women

Two elderly women were out for a Sunday drive in a large car and both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it, I could... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

we are getting a divorce

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer" the old man... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

son in law

A couple took a trip to the Holy Land and the husband decided to invite his mother-in-law. Before they even got there she was already complaining about the long flight and he knew he was in for a long trip. For two weeks they visited every major site from the bible. They walked the path that Jesus... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 2, 2017

donate

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to buzz off!!!!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!! Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

renew the show

An old television star who's show has been on for years and was recently cancelled runs into a news reporter on the street. "Do you personally answer the hundreds of letters of adoration that have been pouring into the studio everyday demanding that your show be renewed?" asks the reporter.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 30, 2016

parakeet

One day a man strolled in to the paint section of a hardware store and walked up to the assistant. "I'd like a pint of canary colored paint," he says. "Sure" the clerk replies. "Mind if I ask what it's for?" "My parakeet, "the man said. "See, I want to enter him in a canary contest. He sings so... Sign in to see full entry.