For Adnohr
Don't cheat and scroll down before thinking about it. Where do pencils go on vacation? Pennslyvania Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, December 16, 2016
solitary confinement
Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for 1,000... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
For Adnohr
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Smuggling
A customs officer at the Mexican border noticed a man coming across one day on a bicycle with two small sacks tied to the handlebars. He naturally got suspicious and asked him to open the sacks, but when he did he found nothing but sand. This went on every day for the nest month. Each time he'd stop... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
profitting
A convenience store needed to replace the fence on the back of the property so the owner called three contractors in to bid on it. When they arrived he noticed each vehicle was from a different state. He didn't think anything of it and took them around back to make a bid. First to step up was the... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, December 12, 2016
Desperate
Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure that... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
baseball
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, December 8, 2016
Sexism
1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2.Nothing improves with age. 3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. 4.Sex has no calories. 5.Sex takes up the least amount of... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
what do you get...
I heard this joke on the radio.... What do you get when you put cabbage patch kids through the shredder? Cole slaw kids Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
efficiency experts
I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around... Sign in to see full entry.