Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

Yesterday Marilyn came back into the house, after hooking Baby to the retractable leash that keeps him close to the porch, instead of next door, trying to hump the Doberman. Being a multi-tasker, Marilyn had also carried a plate of leftover food that had just recently become cat food. Somehow, our food magically transforms itself into cat food automatically, after a week to two months, festering in the back of the fridge. Anyway, Baby was barking his head off announcing that he knew exactly... Sign in to see full entry.

My nephew Matt sent me this, I don't know from where. He must have figured that this bolsters one of my pet theories, while at the same time being extremely worrysome. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case! Guy This is Darn serious stuff.... beer contains female hormones! Last month Mississippi State University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The... Sign in to see full entry.

I’ve been missing from blogit for nearly a week, because I’ve been extremely busy with chores, vehicle problems, equipment problems and a practically depleted firewood pile. Most years, in this area of Michigan, we only have three or four nights when the temperature drops to near or below zero, during an entire winter. This year, there have been literally dozens of times that our nights and many of our days, have plunged to near artic temps. We have also had far more snow than is normal and it... Sign in to see full entry.

Yesterday I heard somebody say, “Put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it!” I have not heard this phrase uttered for decades. I heard people say this a lot, in Ann Arbor, Michigan and Boulder, Colorado during the sixties, but it must have originated way, way, back in our early frontier days. I imagine that when this phrase originally was used, it referred mostly to tobacco smoking, but the indigenous native people inhaled the smoke of leaves, bark and roots of many kinds of plants, trees, cacti and... Sign in to see full entry.

I only just realized that all three females that I live with, are remarkably similar in; behavior, temperament, lack of temper and tongue control, stubbornness, bull-headedness, (Cow-headedness?) “ effed in the brain-pan-edness,” suspiciousness, jealously murderous possessiveness, and dependably mercurial mood-changes. Is this tendency universal, among the Y-chromosomally deprived half of humanity, or only MY few? There are differences, of course. Hitler, my cat LOVES me devotedly, dependably,... Sign in to see full entry.

Women sure are different than regular people. I meant to say, normal pe………I mean men. If my dog rolls on a week-dead salmon, then struts proudly over to my truck, just reeking to high heaven, I would just go, “PHEW!” I then would take him down to the river, soak him down, suds him up, dunk him about a dozen or so times, and then rub baking soda into his hide. Any woman that I know, would gag and quickly run away, then reverse direction and run back, upwind this time. Foul odors affect women’s... Sign in to see full entry.

I was just talking to my dad, and he told me about a radiator shop, that he passes, often. On the sign out front of the shop, it said, “ A great place to take a leak!” Dad told me that he said to himself, “ I’ll be the judge of THAT! ” I almost guessed what was coming next, almost. Then he told me, “ Those morons called the COPS on me! I almost was cuffed and carted away to jail, but I went into my “confused old guy” act and told the cop “I have to get back to the “ home ” before suppertime,... Sign in to see full entry.

I am certain that I have never been even slightly tempted to change my name, but it is apparent that many people wish to be called by another appellation. My mother, a brother, all of my father’s brothers and sisters and he himself, were called by names that are different from who their birth certificate says they are. I do not really know what the REAL names of several of my aunts and uncles really are, because they will always be Mickey, Cliff, Bert, Junior, Al, Irvin, etc. to the family. I am... Sign in to see full entry.

Well, here I sit at home, denied the three-hour respite of going to work. I was really looking forward to a break from yesterdays crying and moaning, yelling and threatening and all the other infantile and adolescent behavior. I HATE acting like that, but they really get on my very last nerve, daily! Now I will probably wind up doing all of it again today! I HATE setting a bad example for the three children (Marilyn, Ivy & D.J.) but they really know where all my buttons are, and they take turns... Sign in to see full entry.

I just had a disturbingly awful thought! Does drinking beer, that ambrosia, nay “ Nectar of the Gods,” contribute to global warming?!! When I open a fresh, cold Magnum 40 oz., carbonation bubbles vigorously, up and out. This is carbon dioxide, a dreaded “ greenhouse gas.” By the time I get to the bottom of the bottle, the last couple of ounces are body temperature and flat as piss on a plate. All the CO2 has escaped into the atmosphere by then, except for that which I swallowed, and its escape... Sign in to see full entry.