Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

There is a battle of wills, going on at Sage Haven, between Hitler the cat, and Marilyn, the alleged human. Hitler the evil young calico cat thinks that Marilyn has been the “ Alpha Female ” for far too long, and should abdicate her throne, in favor of Hitler. Marilyn thinks that the fe-lion has lost her mi-und. Marilyn figures that she still has another several cat lives, left to rule. A few days ago, Marilyn told me that the cat had “ thrown down the gauntlet,” by making it abundantly clear to... Sign in to see full entry.

TWELVE inches of snow fell on Sage Haven, yesterday! I will not be going to work today, EITHER. The walls are closing in around me! Maybe, today I will be able to coax my snow blower into running. I will try cooking the spark plug on the gas stove, adding dry-gas to the fuel tank, and spraying some ether starting-fluid, into the carburetor. If none of these things work, I just might try push-starting it,………….right over the edge of a very tall CLIFF! FLY little snow blower! I am setting you FREE!... Sign in to see full entry.

If I had the means to buy a new car, I don’t think that I would choose to buy a Toyota. I would be afraid that one morning I would go out to my driveway, only to find a bunch of twigs and leaves, where I had parked my car, the day before! Apparently, Toyota is now constructing cars out of biodegradable materials, like moss, leaves, sticks, etc. Being eco-friendly is a laudable goal, but how long would you expect a biodegradable car to last? I foresee many problems ahead, for these eco-friendly... Sign in to see full entry.

Have you ever wondered, what having weightless sex, would be like? Me too! Would a couple have to strap themselves into a harness of several linked bungee cords, attached to one’s ankles or knees, and wrists?, Would this be necessary to keep an enthusiastic couple from bouncing off walls, or a piece of life-sustaining equipment, at 35 mph? OUCH! That would probably spoil the magic of the moment! Even in a craft that spins around a central hub, with a counter-weighted opposite-end, where living... Sign in to see full entry.

Here at Sage Haven, Hi-def TV is only a myth. Like “ Alternative Universes ” and “ June Cleaver.” In my REAL world, TV is blurry at best, and after our environmental atmosphere precipitates on a rear-projection TV’s mirrors, circa 199 something, one that is stored and used in a steel foundry, for more than a year, makes it hard to tell, for sure. Anyway, I think that the insurance lizard is flipping off that Robin Leach wannabe, at the end of the subway car commercial. It is unkind and... Sign in to see full entry.

Yesterday was Sunday and my back was killing me a little bit more slowly than it had been, so I decided to use this brief window of opportunity, to restring my chain-fall and get Spike/Forky up off the ground. When I wrenched my back, I did it by trying to lift my deer back INTO my pickup truck, picking him up off the ground, alone. A pin had dropped out of my chain-fall, dropping the lift-chain at my feet and, in the dark, I couldn’t fix it, until daylight. The buck spent Saturday night lying... Sign in to see full entry.

The fourth time was the charm, apparently. “ Spike ” has become a fond memory, with only two days of rifle deer season, left to spare. Well, I guess that Spike will generate a few more memories, after he becomes corned “ beef ” and venison jerky. My Chippewa Indian, great uncle Hank used to call venison “ government beef,” so maybe I should have said “ government ” corned beef. When I took my shot, Ivy and Marilyn were watching TV in our living room, several hundred yards away from me. Ivy... Sign in to see full entry.

Thanksgiving Day was a rousing success this year! My smoked turkey is the best I have ever done, the house was clean and orderly, there was room enough to swing a cat by the tail, (and Marilyn volunteered to try swinging one cat in particular ) three pies w/Cool Whip, Green bean casserole, candied yams, mashed potatoes & gravy, hot rolls, pickles, olives, dill pickled asparagus, (wonderful!) the WORKS! Our coffee table was stocked with a roll of Kleenex and another roll of napkins! My son... Sign in to see full entry.

News flash, folks! If anyone is following any of my instructions about smoking a turkey, bring the temperature of the whole bird, to at LEAST 175 degrees! You don’t want to poison any of your friends and family! Well, maybe not ALL of your friends and………………Rephrasing that, let’s just say, “ If most of your guests need to be rushed to the Emergency Room, next year’s holiday meal, probably will be held, ELSEWHERE!” Don’t FORGET! At least 175 degrees! It will still be moist! Trust me. This has been... Sign in to see full entry.

Do you also wonder what the value of the U.S. dollar will be, after this whole ugly monetary mess and the resulting panic and stimulus packages; cutbacks, bailouts, etc. finally work their way down through our economy? I hope that we will not need a shopping cart full of dollars, just to buy a loaf of bread. Stagflation, inflation, deflation, revaluation, and all this crap that we have to worry about now, can all be laid at Bush’s door. I thought that our presidents were supposed to be on OUR... Sign in to see full entry.