Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

In that commercial, where the kid keeps discarding " old " unused phone minutes, the frugal mother tells him that they are just as good as NEW minutes, because they never expire. If that is true, why can we clearly see that the clock is ticking, on those minute discs? That makes no sense to me. I guess the clock is always ticking, and EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY has an expiration date, regardless of what we are told. I guess, if one lives their life well and wisely, once can be enough! With that in... Sign in to see full entry.

In North America's natural refrigeration storage center, Canada ( where they misspell it " centre," probably ) the frigid temperatures rarely rise above absolute zero +/- 10 degrees, ( but for a day or two, during mid-August 1984, ) in order to avoid madness and generate precious body heat, during their harsh winter, Canadians play a violent and primitive game, a game they call "hockey." I'm not making this up, folks. Hockey players beat each other up with long, hooked sticks, and try to break... Sign in to see full entry.

This first joke, is a lawyer/groaner joke, but maybe you'll like the second one better, if this one isn't to your taste. Guy A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home, in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him. One summer he invited a lawyer from Czechoslovakia to visit for a week. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spent a great deal of... Sign in to see full entry.

A Kansas farm wife called her local telephone company, to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned, right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see if this was a case of a psychic dog, or a senile old lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned, and... Sign in to see full entry.

These made me laugh, and I that hope you like them, too. The doctors must have been amused too, or we would never have learned what was said, in the privacy of the examination room. My father once described being cathetorized this way; "Well, the doctor opens up a sterile wrapped package, with a garden hose in it,......." I imagine that a colonoscope is similar in size to a garden hose, and at least as comfortable as a catheter, according to my Dad, at any rate. Guy Colonoscopies are no joke,... Sign in to see full entry.

Finally, I have found the profession that I was always meant to have! It is just perfect, for a man with my talents and drive! Not Raising Hogs Dear Sir: I read about a farmer named Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, receiving a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business, next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs, not to raise? I... Sign in to see full entry.

Ladies and gentlemen! Another piece of "Native American Indian Folklore," according to Marilyn. A "Fractured Fairytale," if you ask ME! This is a groaner, but if you have read this far, your click is already commited, so you might as well read this, and get your whole penny's worth. Guy The Indian who was born With only One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years... Sign in to see full entry.

While experiencing a nightmare, Darth.....I meant to say, Dick Cheney, will dream that he sees these vid/news headlines, from the distant future, the year 2039! Like he will outlive most presently living fruitflies! He is scheduled to have another, final heart attack, at any time now. Will anyone miss him, i wonder? Guy This is what ought to kill him, hopefully, once and for all! VideoNews story opening lines, FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars, now killing millions in the... Sign in to see full entry.

This is a rewrite of something that I posted about two years ago. If it looks familiar, my congratulations! You are a longtime reader, and have by now, accumulated much wisdom from my sage writings, Grasshoppers. Marilyn tells me that I have a lot of un educating to do with these kids, especially little D.J. It seems that somebody from his school telephoned Sagehaven, inquiring into the possibility that his hearing be tested because D.J. may have a speech impediment. It seems that he was... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh DAMN, now I must admit to the truth, that my worst fear, is obviously coming true! I think that I am beginning to lose my alleged mind. In the last four days, I somehow posted essentially, the same joke TWICE! No, no, it's TRUE! I checked! I'm SO ashamed. I'm fairly sure that this has never happened to me in the past, but now that I think about it, if my marbles have begun falling out, for all I know, it has been happening for a long time, and I just didn't notice it, because I was busy... Sign in to see full entry.