Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

David, everyone, Call the milk carton printers and stop the presses! Cancel the Amber alert! I have escaped from the biggest crayfish hole ever seen, after being dragged downward into a subterranean complex of huge mudbug tunnels. I normally enjoy being invited somewhere, for dinner, but not when I am the main course. By early fall, I am somewhat amber, but now my color has returned to it’s normal whale belly, milk-white perfection, especially after a few days below ground. Take my word for it,... Sign in to see full entry.

Did you also enjoy the commercial where the beautiful young woman picks up a frog, plants a kiss on it, only to find out that the transformation she is trying for entails several more steps. I can’t even tell you what is being advertised, but after repeated kisses and transformations, a satyr delivers the punch line to the despondent woman, “You’re just one kiss away!” I was thinking, “Half man/half horse. HMMMMM. She wouldn’t need a car, driver’s license, license plates, auto insurance,... Sign in to see full entry.

It’s me again. These grandkids of Marilyn’s are driving me nuts! They compete over everything and everyone. They are very like our cat and dog. The dog thinks cats are the lowest form of life and the cat knows she is royalty, and dogs are fit only to serve slaves. Ivy has appointed herself D.J.’s boss, owner, punisher and goddess. He has finally learned how to push her buttons because he enjoys it, and grown big enough to hurt back. He enjoys driving her to distraction, regardless of the fact... Sign in to see full entry.

A final thought about Anna Nicole Smith, then I’ll drop the subject. Before the final autopsy results were announced to the “great unwashed” (public), I predicted that Anna Nicole’s death would be ruled a suicide. I have it on good authority that her doctor had just told her that she had recently developed an acute case of allergy to sperm! She no longer had any reason to live! I rejected her unwanted advances because I wasn’t interested. I require a three digit IQ and as I said before, was... Sign in to see full entry.

If you learn the name of this strange new comedian, write it down. He says, ”I have a working time machine at my house. It still needs some work. Right now, it only goes forward, at regular speed.” Another thing, he says some girl told him, “If you have any questions, I’m Kelly Johnson.” He says, “Wow I’ve never met anyone with a conditional existence, before!” He hypothesizes that “oranges” were named before “carrots.” This guy looks hilarious and talks weird, not the other way around! He has... Sign in to see full entry.

Another recalled mail conversation with my sister: Terry, While I was recalling our meeting with the new pope, I remembered several similar meetings with the….. how shall I say this,(?) old, late, ex-pope. I used to call him “Big Pauly”. He would get red in the face and tell us, “Not ALL popes are Italian!” Not ALL Italians are Mafia! I’m Polish! My given name is Carol!” It was SO much fun! You probably had to be there, but I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel! Dolly would have to get... Sign in to see full entry.

I recently sent my sister an email that closely resembled this, as closely as I can recall: Terry, Your mail to me today, demonstrates the biggest problem we popular advisors run into everyday, misquotes and misinterpretation of what we said. You said that I was comparing myself with the Dahli Lama. If you take the time to re-read my mail to you, you’ll see that I was recounting a conversation between he and I, in which he was comparing himself with me. The pope experienced the same twisting of... Sign in to see full entry.

I’m sitting here wondering again, what it will feel like, after my upcoming stroke. Someone I know, even though it has been pointed out repeatedly, seems to always identify the driveway grooves as the target, the perfect alignment for parking. Of course, what was requested was that the ridges alongside the grooves be driven over, not!!!! in, to level the area, eliminating the grooves that eat cars in the spring. Will I be unaware that something that I do will always be the wrong thing, because... Sign in to see full entry.

A long time ago I tried to prod my siblings into sending me email by feeding them a straight line nobody could resist. I said that my parents had my younger brother Perry, so I could have a “whipping boy” to punish for my transgressions. No reply from him. Then I said that the other two kids were just replacements in case he died, or by-products, you know, unplanned. No reply. Are they really so dim that none of them wrote back,…….. say it with me, everyone, “They had us because they weren’t... Sign in to see full entry.

Do you think that dogs & cats can differentiate between dreams and real life? I watch Baby, barking and running in his sleep, and I’d bet a lot that when he wakes up, he believes that his dream just happened. Very small kids are sure that their dreams are true memories, and only after the grown-ups explain about dreams, do they even know that they exit. I’m sure that in his sleep world, Baby is the alpha male leader of the wolf pack that runs the elk to ground, kills him with one savage bite to... Sign in to see full entry.