Driftwood

By mneme - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Journal

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Oasis

I'm feeling better today. In counselling we learn that it takes about six hours to get over an emotional shock. I suppose I should have been expecting it. I've softened towards him again, and sent an email just saying that I couldn't bear it if we fell out. I still won't see him. Normally there... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 12:22 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, June 12, 2009

Benign

I've found it helpful to try to track my moods and feelings around this time, something I have been doing for quite some time. It sometimes helps to spark a poem or reflection; over the past couple of days and now that I've had time to simmer down, I've found I swing from being very angry -- though... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 4:36 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Deconstructed construction guy

I forgot, with the emotional storm of the past few days, that last Friday as I was sitting with a colleague having a glass of wine and some salt-and-pepper squid, the construction guy rang me and he also decided not to see me again. We went out the Saturday before, or more strictly met for coffee,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 3:35 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Drawing Back the Threads of Recovery

Help from my web 'head-space' here, from some of the comments, both from others and my replies: He was morally committed. We are both religious and I trusted him, letting him overcome my doubts. As much as I love him, my recovery might depend on confronting him with this. My shoulders are only so... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 4:06 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

In the genes?

Are all men like this? I hope not. How can it be okay for me to hear that news yesterday as if he were going out for the evening, along the lines of ' and I've decided to get married again.' How insensitive. How perplexing that he can't see how much that would hurt me. Since being back here I've... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 2:07 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

So much for fighting back

In case no one read my Daffodils in August blog today, my heartbreaker has told me today -- in my office -- that he is getting married again. He can't have had any idea of the reception of saying something like that to someone like me. It was as if I were a casual aquaintance. No more shocks baby,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 12:12 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, June 8, 2009

I want to feel like me again

Most of the time I do, during the day, that is, while I'm busy and engaged in research and writing. I can't help my mind drifting off from time to time, however, and it takes an effort to bring it back. Worst of all is going to bed, and waking next morning, all alone. I've never been truly alone,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 2:23 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Queen's Birthday

I can move again. I'm still sore and still can't get both legs into the car without lifting the second one in with my hands (!) -- a somewhat awkward manoeuvre when the steering wheel is so low in this sporty and elderly Beemer. Manual shift is tiring, turning around to look over my shoulder... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 8:49 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Quieter

Better to write here than to do what my waking impulse suggests and remind you of where we were just a year ago. That was when I got the response I was dreading; best for us both if I just let you go. We'd had the on-off talks a few times in the preceding months, with all the uncertainty, and this... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 4:49 PM | add or view comments (14) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, June 1, 2009

Lead Balloon

I'm working. That's why I haven't pulled my socks up and gone off to the library to stand in the queue of students waiting to use one of the dozen or so photocopiers (for which we have to pay of course), so as to provide my solicitor with two copies of a 28-page form filled with financial... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by mneme at 11:21 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I started this blog in 2006, round about the time my 28-year marriage was unravelling. It was difficult for all concerned, even for my ex who handled the situation about as badly as it’s possible to do. The damage is still emerging, when I least expect it. The children are adults and both now live with their father in Australia. After the divorce, the future initially looked bright. It still does, although there are a number of complications. I have a new relationship to nurture, sometimes thrown into confusion through my daughter’s negativity when she visits. I’m a member of the church choir, which is really important to me. I think I’m happy, apart from those moments of conflict and opposition that we can all do without. Time will tell. To quote William Shakespeare: O time, thou must untangle this, not I. It is too hard a knot for me t'untie

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