Jeff's Journal

All right now I'm really confused. Mom sent me a check for $300. She sends me money then complains about it then sends me more. I thought about sending it back to avoid giving her the opportunity to make me feel guilty about it. But my religion teaches me to accept my good so that's what I'm going... Sign in to see full entry.

I wish I had asked that politician at the 50 plus expo what he thought about gay marriage. I'm sure he would have opposed it and then I could have asked him that if he thinks people should decide things for themselves why shouldn't people be free to decide who they marry? Didn't think of it in time.... Sign in to see full entry.

Went to the 50 plus expo twice today. Went home took a nap then Melanie wanted to go so I went again with her. Had more fun the second time because I felt better after a nap. Got feisty with the Nutritionist and a politician. I love being feisty, it's something new for me since my medicines have... Sign in to see full entry.

I continue to feel a bit better each day. It's a bit confusing actually. Depekote is not an antidepressant so it's not like it's just kicking in. I do know I was over medicated before. Maybe I don't need the antidepressants now that I'm not working? It's a mystery to me. I see Dr Zhang tonight maybe... Sign in to see full entry.

Got a response from Mom she said what I thought she'd say that I was behind on the bills before I went to the hospital. Still the electric company doesn't turn people off willy nilly--if I had been home and they could have communicated with me I could have avoided being turned off. But no point in... Sign in to see full entry.

Went swimming this afternoon. First time since I left the hospital since I felt strong enough. Lady in the next lane said she was 90 I so I guess it's doing something for her. Electric company's website says I owe them like $1600.00. That can't be right, I'm going to have to have a conversation with... Sign in to see full entry.

So my therapist told me to be empathetic towards my Mom and I'm trying to be. She had it far worse that I did I was unconscious for the worst of it. The therapist agreed with me that it was irrational for Mom to expect me to pay my bills while I was in the hospital. She also told me to email Mom and... Sign in to see full entry.

See my shrink this afternoon. I'll tell her about my BS (Before Seizure) insight I wrote about yesterday. I think it's both funny and interesting. I thought all this time the checks Mom was sending me were gifts when they were really sacrifices. (For more on the difference between a gift and a... Sign in to see full entry.

All this time I thought my mother was giving me money because she was generous and helpful. That was BS. Before Seizure Now I know she was using money to manipulate me. Trying to use money to guilt me into living my l ife the way she wants me to rather than the way I want to. That may be a bit... Sign in to see full entry.

Got my car keys back in the mail from Mom finally. Good timing as I'm just getting to the point where I feel up to driving short distances. As I suspected Mom had both sets. I guess I could have reported her for stealing my keys but I wasn't quite that mad. Going to the Eldersburg dance tonight. G... Sign in to see full entry.