I Do, Adieu

By flappergirl - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Journal

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Awakening

When you are done with me, will it be so easy to free me from your mind, your fantasy, your world? When you are done with me, will it be so easy to leave me with your rush, your sighs, your release? When you are done with me, will it be so easy to forget me when my caress haunts your sleep, your... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 3, 2008

the latest

He says he can't be out this weekend, that he has next Friday off and that he will move out then. He is still dragging his heels on all of this. I have tried to be on the computer tonight, checking all of your wonderful blogs and instant messaging some friends and he is hovering over me like a... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

the clock is counting . . .

Next week is moving day. We went to counseling yesterday. I think he thought it was going to be like the night at the preacher's house when they both looked and me and said, "What would make you happy?" and "God wouldn't approve of this." But it wasn't like that at all, the counselor (a Christian... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Same-o, Same-o

The talking is minimal. We discuss the kids. We say "How was your day?" I hate it, but at least it isn't the brow beating that it was. I expect it will escalate though the closer to moving day. I think he thinks it will go away. I can't make this guilty feeling go away; please tell me that I... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Now he is just being nice, no pressures. He did ask if we could just be roommates. I am thinking that would really interfere with me dating. Perhaps I shouldn't even be thinking of that yet, but I am. I have wasted a lot of time, energy and effort on all of this and I am ready to get out there and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hell Night

Well, last night I wasn't so fortunate. It was hell. Guilt, Pressure, Crying. I just sat there, sinking deeper and deeper inside myself. I wish so much I could spare him this. I don't like being the executioner. It sucks. I wish I could take one for the team, put my game face on be a trooper... why... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A good night . . .

Thank goodness, I only had minimal drama last night. I did give him until March 7 to get out. If I had that to do over again, I would have just said, "Get out." But I didn't and now I feel I should honor my word, but he is working on me every day. I see clearly now how he has done this to me for... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Divorce Diet

As if I needed anymore drama in my life... I live in a small town and a lot of crap is being said about me leaving my husband. Of course I knew it would happen, but it just isn't any fun. People are going to take sides naturally, but really they should just stay out of it. Every night I am dealing... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Last night . . .

I spent another night getting the begging and pleading. This is killing me. I feel like I am the meanest, most cut throat person in the world and I am not. I am kind, naive, trusting and cannot inflict pain on other people. But I cannot stay with him - it is about self-preservation. I just need a... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Shanghaied

Well I spent most of last night at my preacher's house while he and my husband convinced I could get past all of this for the kid's sake and that God would not want me to do this. I am exhausted, confused and vulnerable. But I haven't changed my mind. I want him to move out for a separation so we... Sign in to see full entry.

About this Blog

My wedding day was exactly as I had planned it. My marriage, on the other hand, and well my life since that day has spiraled out of control. So here are my thoughts on my life as it unravels.

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