Wednesday, April 19, 2017
A chap went to the restaurant for dinner accompanied by his wife Bilkiss.After half hour the waiter arrived with the bill: ''Bilkiss can you honour the bill?'' the man asked ''Sorry, I can only kiss the bill.You have to pay it darling''replied his wife Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Difference
How do we recognise a printer? He has ink on his shoes How do we recognise a labourer? He has soli on his boots How do we recognise a fucker? He has white fluid on his shoes Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, April 17, 2017
Loyalty
President Reagan and Elsin were in a political summit.During the lunch break both of them wanted to show the loyalty of their bodyguards. Reagan called his bodyguard: ''Jump from this window' When the bodyguard was ready to jump the president cried: ''I was just joking.Don't you have a wife and... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Death simulation
During a seminar on death the pastor told a person: ''My son, just pretend that you are dead.Your family and friends are all around you mourning.What would like to hear from them?'' '' Well, I would like them to say........ LOOK HE IS MOVING''replied the fellow Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Funeral service
A man whose mother- in-law was deceased abroad contacted many funeral companies.The fees proposed were as follows Burial $200 repatriation of the corpse $5000. ''Which one do you opt?''asked the director ''I'll think about it and let you know tomorrow'' replied the son-in-law The next day he went to... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Life saver
In a a psychiatric hospital the patients dive one after the other in a empty pool.A doctor arrives to stop them when he sees a patient who is aloof: ''Oh! This one looks better''says the doctor to himself.He asks him: ''Why don't you go with the other ones?'' '' There is no life saver?What happens... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Husbands
A woman is talking to her friend: ''I have a golden husband'' ''Mine is a diamond one''replied the other one '' In what way is he better than mine?'' ''He works in a diamond fatory'' she pointed out. Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Where are you?
Two old men who were intimate friends.One of them suddenly falls seriously ill and was on the point of dying.The other one visited him on his deathbed: 'We've been friends for such a long period.Now I feel very sad that you will go far away. When you reach heaven find out if there is a golf there"... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, April 10, 2017
Noodles
In a restaurant: ''Boy do you serve noodles here?'' 'Of course Sir. Let me verify if it's available.I will nod my head to say if we still have noodles''he replied Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Dead or alive
A woman was driving a big luxurious car. As she was too excited she did not pay any attention to a dangerous bend ahead.Suddenly the car crashed against a big tree and it was completely destroyed.The woman lost consciousness for a few minutes. On waking up she exclaimed: ''OMG! Am I still alive?''... Sign in to see full entry.