Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

By Mademoiselle - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Something Really, Really Scary That's Happening Right Now, As We Speak

There's this creepy neighborhood boy who crawls up one of our trees at night, and watches me through my bedroom window. At least, I assume he's a boy... though he might be a squirrel. Sign in to see full entry.

The Last Car

Soooo, when I finally arrive at the train station this past evening* (to head home for the weekend), I am horrified to discover that my train is totally packed! Even the fume-filled, nausea-inducing, cancer-causing last car is nearly full! Now, eventually, after a bit of "non-verbal communication",... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

My Early Morning Emergency (And The Terrible Aftermath That Followed!)

Soooo, this morning, I have to make an emergency run to the grocery store (because we're out of Cap'n Crunchberry). Thankfully, that new stock boy isn't there today (the one with the really flat head). He has some sort of cranial deformity, or something. Not sure what it's called, exactly, but his... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

How To Identify An Alcoholic With Zero Proof

Every afternoon when I come home from school, it's so sad to look across the street and see my elderly neighbor sitting there on his porch. Day after day he sits there, rocking back and forth, just waiting to die. At least I think that's what he's doing... although, actually, he might be waiting for... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Just Another Panic Monday

Soooo, this morning, since I'm already (very) late for school, I decide to brush my hair and teeth simultaneously. Now, as I'm rinsing, I start to place the hairbrush down on the back of the toilet. At which point, as I'm just about to spit, I notice something. Something disturbing. In fact,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

An Unfair and Unbalanced View of My Previous Post

As I continue to take inventory of my birthday gifts (and re-rank my friends in order of importance), I thought I might do something a little different tonight... by presenting an entirely separate viewpoint. You see, my mother disputes some of the facts posed in my previous post (regarding my most... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 20, 2007

My Worst Birthday Ever!!

Soooo, my birthday was today. Well, technically speaking, anyways. It doesn't actually become "official" until the party tomorrow. In fact, I didn't even get to open any of my presents yet, either. What a total gip! At any rate, that got me to thinking about my all-time worst birthday experience... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Death and the Maiden

Okay, soooo, I'm apparently not dying. At least not according to my (so called) "doctor", anyway. Of course, I wish I had known this a little sooner, actually. I certainly wouldn't have wasted so much time putting my "affairs in order". Do you know that, shockingly, my mother still refuses to accept... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Prognosis: Negative!

Soooo, despite being gravely ill, I tried valiantly to make my way to school today. (I'm such a little trooper!) However, the herculean effort required proved to be too much for me, in my weakened condition, and I ended up passing out on the bus. Seriously. When I came to, my head was in some... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 8, 2006

Cherished Memories Of Grandpa

I remember this one time, when we all played the funniest practical joke on my grandfather. You see, we set it up to look like my grandmother had fallen off a ladder in the hallway. Soooo, my grandpa comes walking in, sees his wife lying there (presumably dead)... and immediately starts clutching... Sign in to see full entry.

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