Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

I was really bored today, and it was too hot to do anything, soooo Michelle (my brother's girlfriend) and I just drove around town with the air conditioner on, looking for people to make fun of. Here are some of the highlights: ~ You know those guys who come rushing over to wash your windshield... Sign in to see full entry.

Around 10 PM last night, I suddenly came to a horrible realization! I had spent the entire day yesterday thinking it was Wednesday! Now, I'm sure you can imagine how differently I would have behaved had I known the truth! Therefore, my entire week has been thrown out of whack! So, I got really angry... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, if this post seems a little, uh, disjointed, I apologize. You see, I literally just woke up a few seconds ago. Usually my mother will drag me (kicking and screaming) out of bed in the morning to have breakfast with her before she leaves for work. However, I suppose she was running late, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, my best friend, Manon, and myself are searching my brother's room (for incriminating evidence) under the pretense of "gathering clothes for the laundry". His room is such a disgusting dump, btw, you practically need to put on a Hazmat suit before you enter. At any rate, as I'm flat on my... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I wake up this morning as I always do. Something feels strange, though, even stranger than yesterday. It's as if I'm not alone. But how could that be? So, casually, I reach over and feel the pillow next to me. And there's something hairy on it! Hairy and round! Kinda like a coconut. But why... Sign in to see full entry.

10. Kill Pavel. 9. Buy more cereal. (We're out of Honey Combs.) 8. Take excess baby scorpions and release them in the park. 7. Get more sun. (I've seen hemophiliacs who have "healthier glows" than I do.) 6. Kill Pavel. 5. Return all back-to-school supplies purchased yesterday. (I spent the entire... Sign in to see full entry.

~ Have you ever woken up, and just kinda felt all weird? But you can't really explain WHY you feel that way? Or even what it is exactly about the feeling that feels weird? So you figure maybe you'll take a shower. Maybe that will wash away this weird feeling you have. But taking a shower doesn't... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, we (my aunt, my uncle, my little cousins, my little cousins' little friends, and myself) stop at McDonald's last night, because (a) it was the only place we could find that was open, (b) the children wanted to play in the playground, and (c) I desired a Happy Meal. As the children frolic off... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I am sitting at the breakfast table, minding my own business, reading today's "Doonesbury" (which I don't understand), and munching on my Frosted Mini-Wheats... when, all of a sudden, my mother utters the phrase. Those three vile words! So innocuous when taken separately, so damaging when... Sign in to see full entry.

One of the many perks of being a highly ranked blogger is the neverending flow of emails that flood in to you (a few of which are actually civil ). However, as much as I would love to respond to each one individually, the sheer volume can become a tad overwhelming. Thus, if you don't mind, I figured... Sign in to see full entry.