Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

NOTHING (Grim Repost)

Feed me, Seymour! Give me something to write about! I have writer's block. Is there some kind of laxative I can take for that? I think I abused my muse, so she left me. She was on way too many amphetamines anyway. So here I am, thinking about what to write. Nothing comes to mind. Nothing is always a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:17 AM | add or view comments (19) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

The Night I Won an Oscar (acceptance speech)

By the way, it didn't really win an Oscar. Maybe next year... I would like to thank all of the little people: Danny DeVito, Michael J. Fox, Gary Coleman, the Tidy Bowl Man... I make jokes because it’s the only way to defend yourself when people give you praise. You can’t let yourself get too high,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:12 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

About Me

I figured you deserve an explanaryation for my reoccurring absence and my negligence to respond to your nice comments as of late. The short & sweet of it would be nice, but this isn't a porno, so I'm going to have to give you some background filler. (As you feed the plot, the plot thickens.) Some of... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:02 AM | add or view comments (41) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, September 26, 2005

THE BOOK OF THE DAMNED

Dear Journal, Have you ever wondered why people talk to you like you are a real person, Journal? One of the most ridiculous things that people do is write: "Dear Journal." For one thing, how do they know you are dear? You could be a complete asshole journal. I guess since you're taking the time to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:11 AM | add or view comments (11) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 23, 2005

Strip Poker (yeah, again)

I have multiple personality disorder and last night I got together with all the voices in my head to play a game of strip poker; which was really disturbing, because I'm the only attractive one in the bunch. We got off to a bad start when I discovered that Bertha (one of the personalities) was... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:02 AM | add or view comments (20) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Music Makers

Anybody worth their salt in this oversized sugar-bowl called the uni-verse is some kind of music-maker. Throughout history the most influential people have been artists and entertainers, not the kings and/or politicians, not the topsy-turvy clergy or the Caesar salads. The creators are the ones with... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:12 AM | add or view comments (14) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Outcasts (re-post, because my last post was so bad)

Are you an outcast? I hope so. I would like to think that my audience is jampacked with outcasts. I would like to think that I have an audience period, but if I'm the only audience member in my audience, then that's okay, because I myself am an outcast. Plain and simply put, I'm not plain or simple.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 12:46 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Shakes Beer

I hijacked this idea from Food4thought, so he needs some credit (or blame). This is what might have happened if William Shakespeare was a hip-hop star in the modern era. Some of his greatest hits. A Midsummer Night's Hooptie Ride Romeo & Dis Beyotch Heah Macbeth (The Uncensored Version) Much Ado... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:55 AM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Dairy Air

Why do they have to have milk commercials? Isn't it a waste of money to advertise? "Got Milk?" um, yeah, it's kind of a staple (though Staples doesn't sell it). If you don't advertise milk, are people going to stop buying it? Are cows going to go on strike or something? Do cows have a union? Some... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:59 PM | add or view comments (20) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Reckless @ Tiffany's

I write this to you today from Walpole State Prison. I was caught shoplifting at Tiffany's. Tiffany is my ex-girlfriend (at least that's the way she sees it, BUT SHE'S WRONG, SHE'S ALL WRONG! SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE FOR HER!! ), so I guess technically it wasn't 'shoplifting', because... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:48 AM | add or view comments (14) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

Recent Entries
People
Blogs
Links

Headlines (What is this?)