Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Turn off the TV!

Too much TV????? A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter: Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:35 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 28, 2012

I need to do what!

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:33 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

I need to do what!

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:33 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Redneck First-Aid

Two Southerners were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard an awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a Specialty Burger too fast. The first Southerner said to the other, "Think we otta... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:57 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 2:48 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Hillbilly BF

A redneck father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it." "Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month." Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:13 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Hillbilly Mirror

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:12 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, September 27, 2012

you get what you pray for...

This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:04 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

OMG!

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "Oops!" Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 2:28 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Early Retirement

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:16 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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