Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Smuggling

*Juan the Smuggler* Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. A guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he... Sign in to see full entry.

police!

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

For all the Canadians on blogit

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Canuck. Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to... Sign in to see full entry.

What kills you?

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

eavesdropping

A Bus stops and two men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: Emma come first, Den I come.? Den two asses come togeder. I come once-a-mora.?... Sign in to see full entry.

Tell the truth!

The Alabama preacher said to his Congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 3, 2015

300%

A woman tells her doctor, "My husband is 300% impotent. The doctor asks her, "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" She replies, "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger." Sign in to see full entry.

Riddle me this

Q: What did the baby digital clock say to his mother? A: "Look ma -- no hands!" Sign in to see full entry.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny,Pat?" "I just saw one of your... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny on the loose

L il' Johnny's mother took her 5 year old son with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Lil' Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's... Sign in to see full entry.