Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, August 17, 2015

stranded

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about... Sign in to see full entry.

irishman

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

supreme court 2

"President Bush said the job of the Supreme Court was extremely important because these are the people we choose to pick the next president of the United States." --Jay Leno Sign in to see full entry.

supreme court

" Samuel Alito, who is widely agreed to be conservative, intelligent and competent, and President Bush said he would be willing to overlook those facts this time." --Bill Maher "President Bush was asked how he came up with a conservative like Alito, and he said he got the idea over the weekend while... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 14, 2015

the office

The boss returned from lunch in good humor and decided to tell a few jokes. Everybody but one woman laughed uproariously. The boss asked her if she didn't think the jokes were funny. She replied that she was leaving Friday! Sign in to see full entry.

Lil Johnny on the loose

Lil Johnny goes to his mom and tells her he would like a bike for his birthday. His mom tells him to go to his room and think about how good a boy he was and then write a letter to God. He goes to his room and writes a letter stating how good he was this past year. He realizes that isn't quite the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

moonshine

Seems this hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other. He stopped a man on the street, saying to him: "Here, friend, take a drink outta my jug." The man protested, saying he never drank. Unimpressed, the hillbilly leveled his shotgun at the stranger and... Sign in to see full entry.

yeesh!

An Arkansas woman is in the welfare office filling out forms. The welfare officer asks her how many children she has? "Ten boys." "And their names?" "Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy." "All named Leroy? Why would you name them all Leroy?" "That way, when I... Sign in to see full entry.

surgery

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor... Sign in to see full entry.

the maid

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid.", answered the woman. "We don't have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm.... she's upstairs in the bedroom... Sign in to see full entry.