Bob's Grabbag

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Friday, August 6, 2010

The Waitress-Goddess

My name is Tammy, and I'll be Your server for tonight. And would you like A twist of fresh-ground pepper? And Some grated parmesan, perhaps? (If hunger really sharpens wits, We well-fed folk had best look out. She'll work all day, raise two young kids, Stay attractive, neat and perky, Live on what... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

...And Four More Limericks...

1. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WANT A determined young glutton named Ron For manners did not give a darn. He dreamt he could swallow A one-pound marshmallow - When he woke up, his pillow was gone. 2. TRIVIA PRIZES ON THE QM2 Each trivia game boiled with strife - One passenger just pulled a knife! When the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Rime of the Drunken Mariner

We should've dropped Frank at the last port; - He never was really the fast sort - He's hammered, you see, As drunk as can be, He looks even worse than his passport! Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Name Those Movies 6 & 7 (Att. SAM444 & AMANDA)

Movie #6 You want to talk about my life? It's nice here in the park - let's Start with when my mama said, "Life's like a box of chocolates." Movie #7 Look, I love you both, you know, But him I can't embarass. Please don't forget (I know I won't) "We always will have Paris." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Gee Whizzardry

Dehumidifiers sweat five gallons daily from my basement air. I know because I schlep two buckets every morning up the stair. To think of so much airborne water hanging there invisibly! All day long the cat and I, both of us dry, walk through it unaware. Okay, so I wonder easily, but air and water... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Metaphor for a Failing Memory

HERE WE GO AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL'S HIS NAME! I SAW THE MAN JUST YESTERDAY! THE HARDER I TRY, THE WORSE IT GETS!....I PAUSED.... THIS HAD A FAMILIAR RING, SOMETHING EARLIER TODAY... ("Come here, you little scamp," but no, the puppy danced away each time I lunged. Finally I said, "All right for you! Go... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Calm Before the Storm

"Hon?... That brand new car of ours...? I've good news and I've bad. Which one should I tell you first? And try not to get mad." He looked up from his paper, Didn't read another line. "The good news, please." "Good choice!" she said - "The airbags work just fine." Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Name That Movie #5 - Clue Two (I can't think of any others)

Show biz life's unstable And success can be a tossup - Oh, well, "Yes, Mr. deMille; I'm ready for my close-up." Bonus - Here's a sign on the bar of a well-run restaurant around here - I've never seen the problem addressed so neatly! - Unattended children will be given a free puppy and cup of... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Name That Movie #5

Haven't you been listening? You don't get it at all! "I am big." I always was! "It's pictures that got small." Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

...And Then There's Angie's Gift

WHAT A SELFISH LITTLE GIRL! Oh, she's really not so bad. I THOUGHT SHE LIKED HER LITTLE BROTHER! THE PINT OF BLOOD COULD SAVE HIS LIFE! AND SHE'S THE ONLY DONOR! I know, but she's just eight years old. And finally she did consent. WELL, I SHOULD HOPE SO! They said, "A little pinprick and it's over."... Sign in to see full entry.

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