Bob's Grabbag

By 2902 - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Poetry

Friday, December 23, 2011

"IF CONSCIENCE WERE MY DOG, I'D SHOOT IT!"

- Huck Finn's comment after making the decision that made him a lawbreaker: he would not turn in his friend Jim as a runaway slave. Good Catholic boy, I had no doubt that Judgment Day would find me out! God knew what I was all about: a weak and worthless sinning lout! But grown up now, I have no... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

WHAT A CONCEPT! (a haiku)

"Computers? Useless. They only give us answers." Pablo Picasso Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

HARDSCRABBLE

I look across as we play Scrabble at my wife of forty years and see the miniskirted doll who turned heads as she made her way each day to 59th and Lex where she named and earned her salary making schedules by hand long before there were computers. Now, with one good hand, she squints and blunders,... Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

HAIKU DEFINITION #6

health (uncommon noun): the slowest possible rate at which one can die Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

KELLY'S CRAZY LOCOMOTIVE

...began its Christmastime career in Woolworth's as a Marx Toys special: "Streamlined toy electric train!" Unpacked at home, it ran sedately on a figure-eight of track, pulling two tin cars behind it. The years took those two cars away, leaving just the locomotive: simple wheels-and-motor unit... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, December 17, 2011

DISCOVERY

My five-year's mind had got a twist I knew would never go away; walking by the subway yards, I had asked my father this: "Dad, where do the giants live?" "There are no giants, Sonny." Looking up at him, I said, "But growing older's getting bigger, isn't it? Just look at you!" A pause as he let this... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

DON'T ANSWER RIGHT AWAY

Suppose you had a clock that didn't tell the time of day. Instead, it told you how much time you still had left to live. Could you, would you look at it, or stay the way you are? My answer came much faster when I was a younger man. Back when I was a high school English teacher in Louisville KY, this... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, December 15, 2011

IT MAKES YOU WONDER ...

PLEASE NOTE: Do not insert fingers while device is running. - Printed warning enclosed with a new electric kitchen blender This timely admonition's meant to arrest th' unwary hands of one as yet imperfect in the ways of pointy blades that whirr. Perhaps in his yet twilit world of cloudy thoughts and... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

SHOPAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

My name is Frank Lee Bonkers and I'm a shopaholic. HI, FRANK. I know now I can't be trusted by myself inside a mall with valid Visa Card and lack of supervision... KEEP GOING, FRANK. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE. I hear the music, smell the Cinnabon, linger by the picture-t-shirt kiosks, then - there... Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A TIMELY BIT OF SEASONAL ADVICE TO PET OWNERS

Don't chia-pet yout kitty cat - it's difficult to mow her, and she'll eschew the watering, so just go bell and bow her. Don't try it on your Labrador, your dachshund or your poodle; your bulldog is a patient sort, but please exert your noodle! Don't lime and fertilize a Shizu, she won't thank you... Sign in to see full entry.

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