Welcome to my world

They changed blogit! Why do they have to go and screw with my head like that? Don't these people know I have enough problems? So anyway, an update on last night. The King came home at 11:30. Very giddy. I thought this was great until I realized he was drunk. And he had driven home. I reamed him a... Sign in to see full entry.

The King threw a HUGE pissy fit tonight about me going out so much lately. I was going to go to a lesbian bar with my girlfriend and be a man hater for a while, but The King decided HE as going out. I think this moment should be recorded in history. The King left the sofa. I'm fucking amazed and... Sign in to see full entry.

I was having a pissy fit. I hate being judged. Especially when I am not being judged fairly, but on my ranting. Anyway. Work is taking up a lot more of my time than I want it to. I only wanted to work 20 hours a week, and I am scheduled for over 30. Not happy. I haven't really been home since last... Sign in to see full entry.

I have yet to blog about parenting. I have mentioned that I opted for life, and that I spank. Rarely, usually when I am scared for one of them and in that second, react. I do not like or want to spank my children. With five small children however, I find it, in certain situations, to be the fastest... Sign in to see full entry.

Schatz asked me why I had five kids. And I've been thinking about this all day trying to came up with a reason. I have yet to come up with a good one. The first thing that came to my mind was, because I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion. I know. That sounds terrible. but let me explain. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Logically, I can't run away. I don't really want to run away forever, but I sometimes wish I could put all of this on hold for a few years. Lately I've been pretending I have a life. I've started reading again, and that makes me happy. But it has led to me once again searching for what it is I want... Sign in to see full entry.

Today was a shitty day. Everyday for the past week I've been out in the yard getting my garden together. That or doing one of the millions of things I want to do in the house to make it my own. Today I did nothing. I'm so tired today. It was definatly a blah kind of day. My girlfriend might be... Sign in to see full entry.

I don't know why, but for the past couple of days I have had this envigorating feeling of freedom. I am me. And I am happy. And I am very afraid. You see, every time in my life that I have been happy, or even thought about being happy, something usually goes terribly wrong. Ok. I am not that kind of... Sign in to see full entry.

As I sit here at almost noon, my five monkeys running madly around the house, I wonder to myself why? Why? did I have five? Why can't I return them? Why didn't anyone warn me that I would lose my friggin mind more and more each day until I was nothing but a pile of jelly? I love my babies, I really... Sign in to see full entry.

I love this house. I still can't believe it's really mine. Well, in 30 years it will be mine. I've been hauling the tons of rock, the previous owner had put in the front, away to make room for my garden. The way it's going I may have my garden planted sometime in January. It is absolutly amazing how... Sign in to see full entry.