Welcome to my world

I don't know what to think about anything. I think I have reached that point where I am so close to losing my mind that my mind has shut itself off as a form of self-defense. I try to think, I really do, but nothing happens. I'm numb. I'd like to say that it's kinda nice, cause it is, but I have so... Sign in to see full entry.

I've lost the fight, cause I just can't fight anymore. My "other mother" was diagnosed with breast cancer and had her mastectomy monday. She will be fine, thank goodness, but she has yet to go through chemo and radiation. I will be shaving my head with her, we both plan on getting tattoos on our... Sign in to see full entry.

I have strep throat. I have never had it before. I am soooooo friggin dizzy and I have the shakes. Anyone have any tips on how to feel better with strep other than lots of drugs and sleep? Sign in to see full entry.

I am sick as a dog. I think it's strep but I won't know until I go to the doctor.All I have the ability to do is sleep. EVerything hurts, especially my throat. Going to the doctor at 2:30, if I make it that long. I hate being sick. May you all stay well. Sign in to see full entry.

So afraid to be happy, so afraid not to be. Afraid to move forward, and afraid not to. I am paralyzed by indecision and irrationalness by fear. I need a crystal ball. I need to know I ma not making the biggest mistakes of my life, and that I am not causing devastating consequences for my children. I... Sign in to see full entry.

As I sit here trying to convince myself that everything will be fine, I feel desparately alone. I have the five monkies tucked away in their beds, the King is out for the weekend, and the girlfriend is having a girl's night out. Between school, the King, the girlfriend, the friend who's in a similar... Sign in to see full entry.

This whole thing sucks. It just does. I am still motivated and making progress, but that definitely does not make it any less shitty. And can anyone tell me why is it that for every step you take in the right direction, life comes along and kicks you back a few? I really wish that would stop. I feel... Sign in to see full entry.

I am taking action, kicking ass and taking names. My friend and I, who combined have 11 spawn, have decided we are going to try and get a place together. I have put my foot down with the King, not taking anymore. The girlfriend and I have come to an agreement about taking a breather for a minute... Sign in to see full entry.

When the hell did I fall asleep and let life pass me by? I swear I've been running full spend for 10 years now, and it would appear from my current circumstances that I have been running in circles. 10 years ago I started out the door utterly intent on fulfilling the American dream; college, career,... Sign in to see full entry.

Finally it's my turn to have a drunk night!!! And instead of being able to wallow in my misery drowned in alcohol I am breaking ti off with one of my best friends while my girlfriend is still pissed at me for fucking things up and my best girlfriend is sulking in her own shit. I wish it would all... Sign in to see full entry.