Jill's Opinions

Monday, May 8, 2006

What Really Brought the Twin Towers Down?

It was easy to get caught up in the excitement of two real life planes crashing into two real life buildings. It was like watching a movie, only better because it didn't cost anything to rent. It was the only news for two weeks with the same footage of a "Boeing" crashing into the tower being played... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 5, 2006

Rough Women on TV I've Found Attractive

I used to have a crush on a girl called Darlene. Darlene was Roseanne's youngest daughter. You know Roseanne - fat cow, big mouth - married to Dan. Yeah, I used to wish I could sleep in the same bed as Darlene so I could feel warm with her. Looking back now, I realise that what I really had was a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 16, 2005

HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY FOR PUSSY?

I’m fed up with having to pay ridiculous rates for pussy, especially ginger ones. Yesterday the girlfriend called me at work… “Chris, the cat’s been run over” “Is it dead?” “No…” “How much then?” “Two hundred pounds” “ WHAT!? Are you sure it’s not dead?” “No…” Following that dramatic bit of dialogue... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PUT THE JEWS?

What makes the president of Iran think Europe has the space to give the Jews land? We’re already overcrowded with gigantic eyesores such as the Eiffel Tower, Belgium, and American tourists. We couldn’t possibly squeeze the Jews in anywhere. If Ahmadinejad wasn’t such a fool, he might have offered... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 8, 2005

Ariala’s Penis was a Lot Thicker than I’d Expected

It certainly brought a tear to my eye, as well as several weeks off work with a severely lacerated anal passage. I told her I wanted to be the daddy but I couldn’t overpower her. Now I have to shit in a plastic bag stuck to my stomach. It doesn’t get me very far with real women. Mind you, I could... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 6, 2005

Are Christian Women Any Good In The Sack?

Although my reputation of divine purity is at stake here, I must confess that I have never slept with a Christian. I did come close once, but that was over a Christ ine. Lovely dog, she was… Anyway, since I’m lacking the experience of clean love, I was wondering how a typical Christian female... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 1, 2005

DID YOU MAKE THIS IMPORTANT LIST?

As you know, I’ve been dedicating most of my time towards setting up and organising my own terrorist group. I can now say with the utmost of confidence that I have assembled a dynamic team of infidels, crooks, lard violators and downright meanies to wage a bloody and violent jihad against the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I’ve Decided to Stop Making Love To My Mother.

There comes a time in an incestuous but attractive man’s life when his trusty mother’s “front pocket” is no longer desirable. Indeed, watching three of your own son-brothers being pushed out of it doesn’t help matters. Like the yeast infections she frequently passed on to me, memories of a head –... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Thought Is the First Step in Creation

Here’s a quick rundown of how the universe works: There in no time other than now Thought is the first step towards creation We all have the power of God We can all have whatever we desire because we command the universe But although we have the power to command the universe and get what we truly... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 7, 2005

Is it Fair to Keep Criticising Bush?

I feel sorry for President Bush. Here is a man who’s been working solidly for the last few months trying to find a good excuse to bomb Iran and all anyone wants to do is criticise his response to the puddle in New Orleans. What is wrong with people!? They seem to forget that it only took him a... Sign in to see full entry.

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