Friday, November 25, 2005
A Legend Dies: Some Thoughts on George Best (1946-2005)
Please tell me I’m not the only person on the planet who doesn’t give a flying shit that George Best is dead. Please…
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
LET’S KILL MOTHER NATURE
It’s time the world realised who the real terrorist around here is, instead of wasting time shooting petty car bombers and Brazilians who use public transport in London. The real terrorist here is Mother Nature. How many people has that bitch killed in the last year or so? Easily 300,000 people what...
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Thursday, October 6, 2005
Are Christian Women Any Good In The Sack?
Although my reputation of divine purity is at stake here, I must confess that I have never slept with a Christian. I did come close once, but that was over a Christ ine. Lovely dog, she was… Anyway, since I’m lacking the experience of clean love, I was wondering how a typical Christian female...
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Saturday, October 1, 2005
DID YOU MAKE THIS IMPORTANT LIST?
As you know, I’ve been dedicating most of my time towards setting up and organising my own terrorist group. I can now say with the utmost of confidence that I have assembled a dynamic team of infidels, crooks, lard violators and downright meanies to wage a bloody and violent jihad against the...
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I’ve Decided to Stop Making Love To My Mother.
There comes a time in an incestuous but attractive man’s life when his trusty mother’s “front pocket” is no longer desirable. Indeed, watching three of your own son-brothers being pushed out of it doesn’t help matters. Like the yeast infections she frequently passed on to me, memories of a head –...
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Thursday, September 8, 2005
Thought Is the First Step in Creation
Here’s a quick rundown of how the universe works: There in no time other than now Thought is the first step towards creation We all have the power of God We can all have whatever we desire because we command the universe But although we have the power to command the universe and get what we truly...
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005
Is it Fair to Keep Criticising Bush?
I feel sorry for President Bush. Here is a man who’s been working solidly for the last few months trying to find a good excuse to bomb Iran and all anyone wants to do is criticise his response to the puddle in New Orleans. What is wrong with people!? They seem to forget that it only took him a...
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Tuesday, September 6, 2005
I’VE CREATED A NEW TYPE OF THEME PARK
I have now filled the void in my life that was for so long getting me down. For years I’ve had nothing so good that it makes me want to share it with a million other people (other than my mother’s STDs). But now that I’ve completed building my theme park, I now have something magical I can share...
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Saturday, September 3, 2005
I’M A BLACKBELT WOMAN BEATER
I’ve created a brand new martial arts based solely on woman beating techniques. The name of this fighting discipline is Punch-ho. As Grand Master of Punch-ho, it is my advice that Punch-ho techniques should only be used as self defence from nagging, and general disobedience from your spouse. It’s...
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Friday, September 2, 2005
What is the Real Secret Behind the Da Vinci Code?
After spending considerable time reading the ‘ Da Vinci Code’, I figured out that there was a more intriguing secret code behind it all, wrapped up in a single eight letter word. That secret code word is ‘bollocks’. My conclusion therefore is ‘The Da Vinci Code’ is bollocks. I mean we’re talking...
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