Saturday, July 9, 2005
IT'S TIME TO BOMB SOME COUNTRY
I’ve dreaded the day a terrorist attack comes to England. Not that I fear for my life or anyone else’s, but it’s the whole gigantic crap-a-thon that follows such an event. I’m talking about the mass hysteria and hyped up beyond belief media coverage. I can already smell the millions of people in...
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FOR DEPRESSED PEOPLE: WHO IS THE BEST BLOGGER?
: Now you can have the lifestyle you truly deserve from this breakthrough wonder cure for depression. “They laughed when I said I was going to strap dynamite around my chest and run into a busy café screaming my pants off. Ha! Who’s laughing now, eh?” ~ Stephen Smith (deceased). Yes, this remarkable...
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
I PUT SPELLS ON PEOPLE WHO ANGER ME
I’ve been a witch now for over thirty three years. I began practicing witchcraft eight years prior to falling out of Mother’s front bottom. That’s how serious I am about it. Afters years of practising the standard witchcrafts (black, white, and mother-in-law), I have developed my own brand of “shit”...
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
THE SEVEN GREATEST IDIOTS ON THE ROAD
In many, many ways I hate driving, simply because of the vast amount of idiots who burden the roads with their stupid, annoying habits. Other motorists cause me more annoyance than everything else combined (apart from equal rights). Out of intere…boredom, I have attempted to list the seven greatest...
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
THE MOST OVERLOOKED EVIDENCE IN THE JACKSON TRIAL
The real joke about the whole Jackson kiddy-fiddling extravaganza is the fact that it took so long in court to reach an outcome, let alone the wrong outcome. Jackson is so obviously guilty that I feel embarrassed for all those people who are so quick to defend his innocence. I also feel embarrassed...
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Sunday, June 12, 2005
ISN’T ADD SIMPLY THE RESULT OF TOO MANY TELEVISION COMMERCIALS?
ADD started to become a popular diagnosis in the 90s. Although being depressed is still the more popular choice amongst the disinterested, being diagnosed with ADD has more benefits, since it can be blamed for everything. ADD is short for I Am Bored. Usually ADD sufferers could be cured with devices...
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WHEN AMERICANS GO WRONG...AS SEEN ON BLOGIT
It's not often I read something on Blogit that makes me laugh. But scoop with his post from yesterday managed to make me laugh quite hard for several minutes, with the opening line from his blog... "Don't you just hate the pompous ass British, and their "I am much better then you attitudes?" Hahaha,...
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Wednesday, June 8, 2005
WOMEN: THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
People wrongly assume that money is usually the root of all evil. In fact, this couldn’t be further from the truth. If no one has ever told you yet, then let me be the first to inform you that God exists in the form of money – and furthermore – if Communism was given a chance then everyone would...
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Monday, June 6, 2005
FREE DISAPPOINTMENT INCLUDED IN EVERY POST
I've decided that I'm going to kick the living shit out of Father Christmas. All I have to do is find out where he lives, so I'm going to need a map or something. Once I locate the fat blaggard, I'm going to headbutt him straight between the eyes and bite at his liver. If I get time to throw in a...
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Sunday, June 5, 2005
I'M GOING TO BE THE NUMBER ONE BLOGGER AGAIN
We all know there is only ONE way for me to become the number one blogger, and that is by making a complete and utter fool out of myself. Which as luck would have it is pretty convenient. Being the number one blogger would stop me from feeling so depressed all the time. It's a long story, but let's...
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