Warped thoughts

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Life in the fright lane

Our streets and roads are filled with idiots. What are my qualifications for making such a statement? I am a professional driver, school bus driver in particular and while I am ferrying precious cargo in my yellow stretch limo I have plenty of chances to observe those who do not follow the same rules I am sworn to adhere to. First and foremost, cell phone usage. I lose count of the number of folks I see every day yakking away on their cell phones blowing through intersections, not yielding the... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 16, 2015

What are the chances?

In a previous post, I pompously commented on TV as if I knew something about it. No, not about how the electrons excite photons to stream into your eyes and convince you that you are looking at something, we all know that! I opined as how the new batch of late night hosts were ok and that The Voice hasn’t produced any household names as of yet. Well, last night, Stephen Colbert had Oprah Winfrey as his guest and they had a great conversation. I encourage you to find it on You-Tube. Then he had... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

TV or not TV

Whether it is nobler to witness the slushing of one’s mind or suffer the outrageous slings and arrows of er, well, something else. Scorpion of course is fine entertainment and the new Blindspot is a mix of Person of Interest, Elementary and maybe even Castle. Frankly there is more to watch than a person can take in. I employ the DVR so I can fast forward through the really mindless parts, the ads. You know, five out of ten doctors is right around 50%. What is the lead time between the latest... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Hi, its me.

Back from who knows where to once again rummage through my mind to spill some leftover thoughts onto the page, er screen. Now, I know there are lots of things I could opine on, but the new season of television is rife with targets. First, I like Scorpion on CBS. The interaction of the characters alone is entertaining. Who knew geniuses could be so, convoluted. If you are unfamiliar with the plot, it is taken from the real life genius, Walter O’Brien. I may have spelled that wrong since I am not... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

I’m not Bill Orielly…

But I could write a book called “Killing Bigfoot.” This legendary creature supposedly lives in the Pacific Northwest, possibly right here in our own backyard. They have the power, when confronted in the wild by cameras to cause focus malfunctions and can also make the camera shake so badly that all filmed encounters end up looking faked. This is a big creature, (given away I suppose by the moniker-bigfoot) and that means that they must have quite a grazing area to support their voracious... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Was “Saturday Night Live” ever really funny?

This burning question has no real importance, which is why I decided to investigate the matter. It all started when I recorded this weekend’s episode - which was from the distant past, 1975 to be exact. To be even more exact it was just called “Saturday Night” and featured the original cast and George Carlin as the guest host. To be perfectly honest, I probably watched this particular episode but just don’t remember. I don’t remember why I don’t remember but it may possibly have to do with... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

New T.V. shows.

The Mentalist is done, its last season. Here’s an idea for a replacement show. Every week a team of really cool detectives solve homicides by looking at the victims’ teeth. Can it be long before the drop-dead gorgeous female lead detective falls for the witty repartee of the handsome consulting DDS? Find out this fall by tuning in to new episodes of “The Dentalist!” Curious about what could possibly replace Two and a half Men? Cheer up, it seems Charlie Sheen will return in a series about a rich... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Beverly Hills 911!

Join us for another gripping episode of Beverly Hills 911! “Beverly Hills 911!” “Omigod, I have a hangnail!” “Sit tight, we’re on our way.” “Beverly Hills 911!” “I have a drop of rain on my windshield!” “Step away from the vehicle, return indoors and stay put. We’re on our way.” “Beverly Hills 911!” “I don’t know what to do!” “What’s the problem?!” “I’m out of Kale.” “Don’t panic, we’re on our way.” “Beverly Hills 911!” “I’ve been bitten all over on my face by a rattle snake!” “Did you do acid... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

You only thought you knew…

The Ersatz News service reported today “European Space Agency lands probe on Comet.” The rest of the reindeer are insanely envious. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Sometimes I’m just wrong…

Sooo, the other day I was blabbing about an e-mail offering something called “go pro”. I thought it was a laxative because I didn’t do the proper research. But really, how much research should one do for a three or four paragraph blog? It all worked out however, because now I have some more to write and think about. Maybe I should think first. Nahhh, what fun is that? So, go pro is a toilet assist device that has nothing to do with making one “go” as much as making it physically and... Sign in to see full entry.

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