Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

Soooo, I'm sitting on a park bench, feeding the homeless, when I see this couple come strolling by, walking their little boy on a leash. Needless to say, I am mortified. Therefore, I jump up and start reading them the riot act. "Do you have any idea how damaging that can be to a child's... Sign in to see full entry.

(It Could Save Your Social Life!) If you're at a dinner party, and you say something really stupid, and completely embarrass yourself... I think a good thing to do is pretend to have a stroke. Meanwhile, here's a pretty good joke to tell (while waiting for the ambulance ): The Story Of The... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, allow me to set the scene. I've just spent the entire day in the kitchen, creating a truly sickening concoction (spinach, peanut butter, raw eggs, horse radish and vinegar all blended together). The plan being to fool my brother into drinking it under the pretense that it's a "protein shake".... Sign in to see full entry.

Now, as many of you may know, I've been "under the weather" quite a bit lately. So much so, in fact, that my long term prognosis appears "partly cloudy". It's the strangest thing, too! When I'm, like, just hanging out and doing nothing, I feel fine. However, the second I'm asked to help out around... Sign in to see full entry.

You know, with the war in Iraq raging (and the death toll soaring), somehow Beetle Bailey doesn't seem quite so funny anymore. I'm just really sick of him always goofing off all the time! I mean, c'mon, man! Wake up! Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, no post today, in accordance with the holiday. You do know that today is a holiday... right? I mean, it's only the most important holiday ever! (Well, besides Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Arbor Day, etc., etc.) At any rate, the point is... it's United... Sign in to see full entry.

Well, I certainly hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Mine? Lousy. Though, thanks for asking. First of all, my mother actually made me clean my room! Can you believe that?! I only get to see my (real) family two days a week, and this is how I'm forced to spend my time. It was quite a task, too, let... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, I thought I might take this opportunity to share some of my most recent artwork with all of you. I think you can really see the tremendous progress I've made over the past few months. (Click on thumbnails for a better view.) Let's begin with a painting I call "The Co-opting of the American... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I was a complete zombie in school today. Not particularly surprising, actually, considering I haven't had a single sip of coffee all day (as opposed to my usual 2 or 3 quarts). You see, I've sworn off the bean forever. Now, why would I do such a drastic thing, you ask? Well, I'm watching the... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, I've just checked the weather reports and, unfortunately, this post is going to have to be delayed. Sorry. According to the NWS, there is a very strong front moving through, bringing with it showers, and a 62% chance of severe thunderstorms. Oh, and also, apparently, the primary pollutant is... Sign in to see full entry.