Friday, November 6, 2009
REAL PONDERIZMS
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from...
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009
ONLY THE BODY AGES NOT THE SPIRIT
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more: By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone... 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in...
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
WATCH OUT FOR LITTLE JOHNNY
Little Johnny's at it again...... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' * * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To...
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Thursday, September 24, 2009
Announcement
Thanks to those who wrote here and e mailed me regarding this! Announcement: I have to back peddle a bit now that some of you have made it clear to me that perhaps I am not serving the best interest of Blogit readers to close all my blogs. A few readers have made it clear to me that I may be acting in a selfish manner. That is not my intent. I cannot keep up with all my work and do more than one blog. Our country, our world, our humanity and our eternity is in a very bad place right now. We have...
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Monday, September 14, 2009
25 THINGS IN AMERICA... GO, GOING, GONE!
2 5 THINGS ABOUT TO BECOME EXTINCT IN AMERICA Will this happen in our life time? 25. U.S. Post Office They are pricing themselves out of existence. With e-mail, and online services they are a relic of the past. (refer to #9) Packages are also sent faster and cheaper with UPS. 24. Yellow Pages This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages...
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Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Colonoscopy Journal:
ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded...
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The latest on Little Johnny
Little Johnny's at it again...... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' * * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked....
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Saturday, August 29, 2009
RELATIONSHIP ADJUSTERS
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. WOMEN'S REVENGE 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I...
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Sunday, August 23, 2009
DO ANY OF YOUR BLOGS NEED EDITING? HELP IS ON THE WAY!
For sure one of these mighty news paper editors can come up with some new hooks for us. Look how well they did for thier own writers. LOL Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and a call was made to the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny....
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I BELIEVE
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born A Death Certificate shows that we died Pictures show that we lived! Have a seat... Relax... And read this slowly. I Believe... That just because two people argue, It doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do love each other. I Believe... That we don't have to change friends if We understand that friends change. I Believe.... That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every...
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Left Brain
This beautiful woman was once Miss NC. She is funny in husband and wife jokes, totally clean but funny. We can all associate in some mode. Click here: YouTube - Jeanne Robertson "Don't send a man to the grocery store!"
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Thursday, August 13, 2009
MY WEEK WITHOUT GOD
Without GOD, MY week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday & Shatterday. If you' S would be too, please share GOD, with a friend.
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009
HOW MUCH DO YOU BELIEVE AND IN WHAT OR WHAT NOT
A Judge's Dilemma In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the brothel from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business. Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the brothel and it was burnt to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the brothel owner...
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Tuesday, August 11, 2009
WHO IS THE PILOT ON THIS PLANE?
Years ago, I was enthralled as I listened to a pastor who for several years had faithfully served the church. His executive responsibilities had taken him all over this country. As he concluded his message, he told of one of the most frightening yet thought-provoking experiences of his life. He had been on a long flight from one place to another. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on fasten your seat belts. Then, after a while, a calm voice...
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Sunday, August 9, 2009
We did this to ourselves... Guess what it is
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble! · I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) [Democrat] ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane! · I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke) (Moore is a Democrat, so assume the idiot working for him is too], who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport...
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