Thursday, May 23, 2013What is Old?"OLD" IS WHEN..Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Choose one, I can't do both!" "OLD" IS WHEN..Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. "OLD" IS WHEN. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN.You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. OLD" IS WHEN..You are cautioned to... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, November 26, 2008FOR THIS MAN I AM THANKFULA man, a real man stood in my kitchen peeling potatoes Only a month into this romance and the man chopped onions For almost thirty years I had made the whole meal alone I dared glance up from the stuffing I was stirring to look his way He stood tall, lean and confident, as he pondered oysters for the stuffing Today marks the twenty-fifth Thanksgiving from that day He has never missed helping with this meal since that one He seasons with sunlight, joy, love, kindness and a good appetite I have so... Sign in to see full entry.Monday, September 10, 2007ANOTHER NON COINCIDENTALS OF THE BIBLEIsaiah was one of the major prophets of the Old Testament The name Isaiah means Yeshua is Salvation (points the way to Christ) The Book of Isaiah has 66 Chapters The Holy Bible has 66 Books The first 39 Chapters of Isaiah are Judgement The Old Testament has 39 Books-are often considered Judgement The last 27 Chapters of Isaiah are forgiveness and restoration The New Testament has 27 Books -forgiveness and restoration Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, September 1, 2007RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ITQ: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible? A: Psalms 117 Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible? A: Psalms 119 Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible? A: Psalms 118 Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118 Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118 Add these numbers up and you get 1188. Q:? What is the center verse in the Bible? A: Psalms 118:8 Q:? Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives? The next time someone says they would like... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, August 29, 2007COME ON CHRISTIANS LET US LOOK IN THE MIRROR AT OURSLEVESDEVIL'S BEATITUDES Whew... talk about the hot seat!!! This one will make you stop and shudder! If the devil were to write his beatitude's, they would probably go something like this: 1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians -- they are my best workers. 2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I can use them. 3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church -- they are my... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, August 4, 2007IT IS ALL ABOUT U~~~IT WAS ALL DONE FOR U~~~THE U IN JESUS Before U were thought of or time had begun, God stuck U in the name of His Son. And each time U pray, you'll see it's true, You can't spell out JesUs and not include U. You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name, For U, He was born; that's why He came. And His great love for U is the reason He died. It even takes U to spell crUcified. Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand He rose from the dead, with U in His plan? The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew, and this word... Sign in to see full entry.A LICK AND A PROMISE - HUH?Every one of the attached old sayings were in general use when I was a kid. How about in your neck of the woods? "I'll just give this a lick and a promise", my mother said as she quickly mopped up a spill on the floor without moving any of the furniture. "What is that supposed to mean", I asked as in my young mind I envisioned someone licking the floor with his or her tongue. "It means that I'm in a hurry and I'm busy canning tomatoes so I am going to just give it a lick with the mop and promise... Sign in to see full entry.Thursday, August 2, 2007IS IT SIMPLE POSITIVE THINKING OR AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT WE NEEDJohn is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, August 1, 200721WAYS TO ENJOY LIFE MOREONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it. FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's... Sign in to see full entry.Tuesday, July 31, 2007I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 15 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work. Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.And that... Sign in to see full entry.Sunday, July 29, 2007WELL, WELL, WELL I NEVER!A hunter and his friend were quail hunting near Highway 281 in Russell, KS early one cold opening morning. Suddenly, the dogs pointed out a large covey still in their roost. Moving quickly toward the dogs, he removed the safety from his shotgun. As he was about to bust the covey, his friend alerted him to funeral procession passing slowly down Hwy. 281. The hunter quickly turned on his safety, set the shotgun down, took off his hat, bowed his head and then closed his eyes in prayer. His friend... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, July 28, 2007My, My, MyI bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, July 25, 2007THIS IS JUST WHAT I HEARD!Can this all be TRUE? The World Is Nuts In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Muslims are... Sign in to see full entry.MORE CHURCH BLOOPERSOur next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High.” Don't let worry kill you - let the church help. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. At the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She uses the program herself and has been growing like crazy!... Sign in to see full entry.Tuesday, July 24, 2007WHAT CHILD SAID THAT?I am sure most of you read this before but it is a good example of the agile minds of children. 1 ) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read,... Sign in to see full entry. |