Mom vs. Wife vs. Sanity

Monday, November 22, 2004

Suggestions welcome; stumping required.

I failed as Mommy the Great on Friday. It was my daughter’s turn to take Show and Tell (letter: B) and I completely forgot. I keep the Show and Tell calendar on the fridge but for some reason I just ignored it on Friday (there is so much crap on the fridge that I no longer know what color it is... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Hurry up and slow down already

Did you hear that? Did you hear the completely quiet house I slept in all night last night? No crying, no whining, no reminiscing over lost binkies. My daughter slept in her own crib all night last night; she didn’t wake up at all and she didn’t cry this morning when I got her. I have been watching... Sign in to see full entry.

The Soccer Effect

Today was my daughter’s “Away” game, which means we drive 30 minutes North (up, yeah, thanks, Alf) and park in the nearest spot which is, if we are lucky, only about 30 minutes away from the field. Since my husband is working all morning, I was left to transport the three little ones to the game and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Pirate Eye Juice

I am completely incapable of putting eye drops in my own eyes. I have no problem doing it for other people or my children when the dreaded pink eye makes it way around the school, but I miss my eyes every time. I spent the better part of this morning trying to get a fingernail out of my eye. I was... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I'm lost.

I am bad with geography and directions, and anything that has to do with North, South, East, or West. People describe places reference to N, S, E, or W and I am literally baffled; they may as well be telling me where something is in relation to an asteroid orbiting Jupiter. I am, in most situations... Sign in to see full entry.

Advice to woo a woman. Also, more crap for Hollee.

Thursday is soccer practice. My daughter seems to have developed something of a crush on one of the boys who tries really hard to play. What he lacks in skills he makes up for in wild kicks and flailing arms. He is an adorable Mexican boy named Beto, pronounced with the “t” kind of weird so that you... Sign in to see full entry.

Topless dancers and condoms early in the a.m.

It is seven a.m. here in the great state of tired, and all of my children have yet to awaken. I can hear them all breathing, so I know I should not be alarmed, but I am curious as to what they are planning. They must know that Survivor is on tonight and they want to stay up for it; they cannot allow... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Wiggles indeed

I decided to start working out again, in the hopes that I can avoid becoming a larger version of me without noticing. In the process of cleaning the infamous “walk-in” closet (we can get in now!), I found two jump ropes, workout pants, and a pair of Tae Bo tapes. Out came the Tae Bo tapes that I... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004


No, seriously, the amount of crap I have dealt with today should allow me to enter the Crap Handlers Hall of Fame. My mother-in-law bought the wrong size diapers for my daughter but I didn’t want to waste them so I stuffed her rather sizable rear end into the tiny diaper this morning. Of course, she... Sign in to see full entry.

God Bless the Crayola.

Nothing like a napping baby to incite a riot at our house. Peyton has begun taking regularly scheduled naps (finally), and Taylor has taken to yelling and singing around the house with a whole new level of loud. I at first thought this was in response to the recently instituted “No sitting on the... Sign in to see full entry.

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