Mom vs. Wife vs. Sanity

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Those who can't teach, assist.

Beginning my day of volunteering in my daughter's class, I was prepared for an assault on my fake smile and a great deal of “great job!”-ing. I was both right and wrong. I was right about the fake smiles, but I was wrong about who I’d be giving them to. Group time was my moment to shine: I was to be... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 3:21 PM Insert Comment Here (8) (permalink)

Negligence and bowling babies

I almost killed my daughter this morning. It is my husband who should take the blame and, if need be, the brunt of the prosecution’s ire. In truth, I almost killed my husband this morning due to crappy baby skills. The baby got up at five after a night of crib sleeping (yay!), and my husband brought... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 6:53 AM Insert Comment Here (2) (permalink)

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Prunes make me cry, too

I was feeding my baby some nasty prunes (with bananas! who comes up with this stuff?) when I heard a tiny "clink" sound. Dismissing it as my son eating aluminum foil again (yeah, that’s a whole other story), I continued with the feeding. Then I heard it again, this time accompanied by my daughter... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 2:16 PM Insert Comment Here (2) (permalink)

Saving nuggets for college

McDonald’s owes their fortune in no small part to my children. But please don’t think I am a bad parent – not for that anyway; they never actually consume the food. I am convinced they are collecting all the toys to sell for their college tuition. This may be because I play tapes when they sleep... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 7:57 AM Insert Comment Here (4) (permalink)

Polydactyly just sounds silly

Polydactyly is defined as having extra toes or fingers or both. In Biology there was a picture of a baby foot that had six toes and it took me twenty minutes to figure out what was wrong with it. That can’t be good; should I be allowed to give birth to and raise my own small humans if I can’t even... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 7:13 AM Insert Comment Here (0) (permalink)

Monday, November 8, 2004

The bathroom is no place for change

I live in Mexico, or close enough that if you see a Border Patrol van, it is probably taking some folks home. So Spanish is a common language here, and being bilingual is helpful in securing jobs. Luckily, my job is automatic, I am mommy, and, also luckily, my children speak English. My father and... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 7:56 AM Insert Comment Here (6) (permalink)

I'm only doing this for the overall good of the neighborhood

Milestones are falling left and right; progress is being made in this game of parenting. Last night Peyton slept in her crib all night. In our neighborhood of moody little yip-yip dogs and gigantic I-may-eat-your-youngest dogs (two of them next door), the lack of screaming at night is welcomed. Also... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 6:59 AM Insert Comment Here (3) (permalink)

Saturday, November 6, 2004

Perfection in a ziploc baggie

The game went as planned, which means we lost. But the mom in charge of snack was a hoot. She has three kids of varying ages and stays at home with them. Her husband is a jerk from what I can glean from their conversations which take place loudly and usually on cell phones. She fixes her hair even... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 2:32 PM Insert Comment Here (2) (permalink)

Another fan tas tic Friday night.

Oh yeah. Night Four was met with little resistance and I am getting excellent “we don’t need no binky” vibes. I got so much sleep last night I might just skip sleeping altogether tonight. Is my bravado showing? Okay, it wasn’t a fantastic night; crying was involved and my will was tested, but she... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 7:00 AM Insert Comment Here (0) (permalink)

Friday, November 5, 2004

Night Three of Operation Get My Bed Back.

Perhaps taking the baby’s pacifier away at the same time I am trying to move her into the crib is not wise. It is too late now; I am past the point of no return (defined as more than two consecutive hours of crying). The baby and I got 3 hours of sleep last night and my eyes have been so red the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by IsSanityNear at 6:02 AM Insert Comment Here (6) (permalink)