Mom vs. Wife vs. Sanity

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Those who can't teach, assist.

Beginning my day of volunteering in my daughter's class, I was prepared for an assault on my fake smile and a great deal of “great job!”-ing. I was both right and wrong. I was right about the fake smiles, but I was wrong about who I’d be giving them to. Group time was my moment to shine: I was to be... Sign in to see full entry.

Negligence and bowling babies

I almost killed my daughter this morning. It is my husband who should take the blame and, if need be, the brunt of the prosecution’s ire. In truth, I almost killed my husband this morning due to crappy baby skills. The baby got up at five after a night of crib sleeping (yay!), and my husband brought... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Prunes make me cry, too

I was feeding my baby some nasty prunes (with bananas! who comes up with this stuff?) when I heard a tiny "clink" sound. Dismissing it as my son eating aluminum foil again (yeah, that’s a whole other story), I continued with the feeding. Then I heard it again, this time accompanied by my daughter... Sign in to see full entry.

Saving nuggets for college

McDonald’s owes their fortune in no small part to my children. But please don’t think I am a bad parent – not for that anyway; they never actually consume the food. I am convinced they are collecting all the toys to sell for their college tuition. This may be because I play tapes when they sleep... Sign in to see full entry.

Polydactyly just sounds silly

Polydactyly is defined as having extra toes or fingers or both. In Biology there was a picture of a baby foot that had six toes and it took me twenty minutes to figure out what was wrong with it. That can’t be good; should I be allowed to give birth to and raise my own small humans if I can’t even... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 8, 2004

The bathroom is no place for change

I live in Mexico, or close enough that if you see a Border Patrol van, it is probably taking some folks home. So Spanish is a common language here, and being bilingual is helpful in securing jobs. Luckily, my job is automatic, I am mommy, and, also luckily, my children speak English. My father and... Sign in to see full entry.

I'm only doing this for the overall good of the neighborhood

Milestones are falling left and right; progress is being made in this game of parenting. Last night Peyton slept in her crib all night. In our neighborhood of moody little yip-yip dogs and gigantic I-may-eat-your-youngest dogs (two of them next door), the lack of screaming at night is welcomed. Also... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 6, 2004

Perfection in a ziploc baggie

The game went as planned, which means we lost. But the mom in charge of snack was a hoot. She has three kids of varying ages and stays at home with them. Her husband is a jerk from what I can glean from their conversations which take place loudly and usually on cell phones. She fixes her hair even... Sign in to see full entry.

Another fan tas tic Friday night.

Oh yeah. Night Four was met with little resistance and I am getting excellent “we don’t need no binky” vibes. I got so much sleep last night I might just skip sleeping altogether tonight. Is my bravado showing? Okay, it wasn’t a fantastic night; crying was involved and my will was tested, but she... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 5, 2004

Night Three of Operation Get My Bed Back.

Perhaps taking the baby’s pacifier away at the same time I am trying to move her into the crib is not wise. It is too late now; I am past the point of no return (defined as more than two consecutive hours of crying). The baby and I got 3 hours of sleep last night and my eyes have been so red the... Sign in to see full entry.

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