Mom vs. Wife vs. Sanity

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Shoes, purses, and my man toting it all

There are women who have shoes that match purses that match belts that match some animal formerly known as living. I stopped carrying purses when I discovered that a diaper bag is MUCH bigger than any tote I can find, and it’s perfectly okay to make my husband carry it. I saw a man in the airport... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 18, 2004

If I'm taller, don't they HAVE to look up to me?

I am not cool, and I never have been. Also, I am not an animal person. We had a dog once when we were teenagers, and he ate the couch. Not some cute puppy gently pulling on the fabric and making a hole; no, he ingested the entire couch, stuffing and all. The carpet was never the same after that... Sign in to see full entry.

Running away from home

I live in the desert, so wearing flip flops on a daily basis is perfectly acceptable (my dad still calls them thongs, I don’t mind saying it makes me giggle). My running shoes get some use, though not as much as before the kiddos. I do see those runners, though, running in the dark with a flashlight... Sign in to see full entry.

Keep you enemies close and your ex-husband... in the guest room?

I have only attended three weddings and two of them were my own, so the invite to my ex-husband's cousin's wedding was met with excitement. It was also met with some budget concerns, as it was two hours away and required the obligatory gift. Maybe next month we'll try and stick to the budget. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Early ramblings

I once went to the restroom alone. It was 6 years ago, I peed on a stick and it said “never alone again”. I have not taken a shower or used any portion of the bathroom including the sink without having at least one child in plain view since. One needs her homework signed, one needs to brush his... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Why do I not like this woman?

My brother married a gal I can’t stand. Common occurrence I am assuming, but he’s the only brother I have and now the chances of me getting a new sister-in-law are slim to none. My brother is Buddhist, and has been since we were kids, even though we didn’t know that’s what it was called back then.... Sign in to see full entry.

Can't see? Go faster!

Of course, to an adult spinning around with a backpack on your head near any sharp or bulbous objects seems unwise. To a two year old and a five year old, it is hilarious. It will end badly, I tell myself. I think about telling them too, but they are having fun and being remarkably quiet, so I let... Sign in to see full entry.

High stakes Paper/Rock/Scissors

Clean him. It sounds simple. Some kids happily leap into the bath tub and enjoy hours of sudsy bliss while submitting to shampooing and general cleaning. Or so I’ve gathered from the Johnson & Johnson commercials. Come bath time, my son clings to anything dry like it is the only thing keeping his... Sign in to see full entry.

Other mothers and other horrors

Inevitably, the shit hits the fan. Or, as is the case with my two year old, the screaming will hit its peak right when school lets out and all the other mothers are there to look on with horror as I watch my son flail on the ground while spewing forth a horrendous yell. Something has set him off,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Things i will never do (says a naive teen)

I’ll never: spank my kids, swear in front of my kids, pick up toys my kids are perfectly capable of picking up, buy my kids things at a store because they scream when I say no, tell a child of mine to stop laughing, feed my kids McDonalds, compare my kids to every other kid and find them superior.... Sign in to see full entry.

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